City of Heavenly Fire [Review]

Title: City of Heavenly Fire by Cassandra Clare
Series: The Mortal Instruments #6
Genre: Urban Fantasy
What They Say:
Sebastian Morgenstern is on the move, systematically turning Shadowhunter against Shadowhunter. Bearing the Infernal Cup, he transforms Shadowhunters into creatures out of nightmare, tearing apart families and lovers as the ranks of his Endarkened army swell.

The embattled Shadowhunters withdraw to Idris - but not even the famed demon towers of Alicante can keep Sebastian at bay. And with the Nephilim trapped in Idris, who will guard the world against demons?

When one of the greatest betrayals the Nephilim have ever known is revealed, Clary, Jace, Isabelle, Simon, and Alec must flee - even if their journey takes them deep into the demon realms, where no Shadowhunter has set foot before, and from which no human being has ever returned...

What I Say:
After the first three Mortal Instruments books, which I fiercely adored when I first read them in high school, the fourth and fifth books both felt a bit forced; an artificial continuation of a series that should have ended. That said, I made the effort to read all the way to the end of this series, if only to find out who lives and who dies. CoHF would have gotten a much higher rating if there weren't five other books out there that were basically exactly like this one. This book had messed up brothers, a big final battle, and a strong feeling of lethargy throughout. That said:

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Plot: ooh

Sebastian Morgenstern has brought war to the world of Shadowhunters. Though it's not exactly a fair fight. Armed with an Infernal Cup that can convert Shadowhunters into soulless Endarkened warriors, no one is safe from this new fate worse than death - from which there is no cure. Jace Wayland Herondale Lightwood's veins are thrumming with heavenly fire - the only thing that can hurt the now invulnerable Sebastian - but he's having trouble getting close enough to attack, considering Sebastian is completely untraceable. Jace and Clary and co. are left with absolutely no leads as to his whereabouts until three of the Council representatives (and Clary's mother) are kidnapped. Now they have two days to save her mother, find and kill Sebastian, stop a war, and return home in one piece.

Above all things, let me tell you: this book is long as hell. 725 pages, compared to the last Harry Potter book which had 759. I'm a pretty fast reader, but between my summer jobs and studying for the GMAT, I've only had free time to read here and there. By the time I finished this book, I honestly felt like I'd been reading it for years, though in all fairness it'd only been weeks. Now, I'm not critiquing the book simply for being long - because the last three Harry Potter books were extremely long - yet somehow with those I always felt engaged and didn't simply stop caring halfway through. That feeling of lethargy I mentioned before began with the fourth book (City of Fallen Angels) and has only grown since. Characters I used to love, like Jace and Simon, have grown so dull and overplayed that when they faced their greatest ever opponent near the end, I seriously didn't care if they made it. Forget about Clary, who simply bored me to tears consistently, without any hope of redemption. As far as story progression goes - this book is 725 pages long and not that much happens, beside the main story arc of build-up to a large battle. All personal storylines occur as afterthoughts on the really long journey to this final clash, which devolves into one very long scene in which no actual fighting occurs. And then at least a hundred more pages of falling action that should could have been heavily pared down. 

Characters: meh 

What first drew me (and scores of others, I'm sure) to Jace Wayland was his complete disregard for authority and his extreme levels of snark. The more hopeless and deranged his life with Clary became, the brighter he blazed and the harder he fought to protect the things he could be sure of (his family, his world, etc). After the last page of City of Glass, when he and Clary realize their love is no longer forbidden, it all goes away. Things go south in CoFA, but it's not the same. Instead of keeping his head straight and using snark as his strongest weapon, he just broods and angsts - strangely like Alec. Jace at the end of this series is a changed man from where we left him in CoG, and it's not really a good thing.

I admired Clary in the first three books - as I've mentioned in my review of City of Bones - because despite being the audience-insert character, she wasn't a blank slate. Her passion for art wasn't something every reader could relate to, but it fleshed her out and gave her character. In this book, her love of art is only mentioned in relation to her ability to create new runes, which has become an arbitrary power that almost feels like an easy way of allowing her to be a sub-par Shadowhunter with no ability to defend herself and yet not appear completely useless.

Relationships: ooh
Jace and Clary - I got my happy ending for these two at the end of City of Glass, so everything that has come afterwards has gone a bit over my head. All the drama and angst of Jace's possession and then his time spent in his brother's capitivity, it just didn't stir me the way it should have because their story had already ended. Restarting it in City of Fallen Angels just felt forced, so it was like reading about two completely different people's relationship. I feel these two have gotten a watered-down version of what could have been (slash already was) a pretty fantastic love story.

Simon and Isabelle - This relationship piqued my interest, mainly because it's the only plot device that is unique to this book. Painted as the eternal (heh) underdog, I was very glad to see Simon be able to come into his own and be confident in his relationship with Isabelle.

Alec and Magnus - I really appreciated this relationship at first, because it was absolutely typical and ordinary in all ways except for that Alec and Magnus are both boys. That's good to see in literature, because that's what it's like in real life. Over time, though, I feel the relationship itself just became a symbol of Alec's angst because he's looked down on by his father for being gay, which ventures into After School Special territory. The actual issues of their relationship - Magnus never aging and Alec wanting him to be mortal - only come to the forefront at the whim of the author as a plot device to keep them apart. To be fair, the same is done to a lesser extent to Clary and Jace's relationship in the case of the Heavenly Fire, whose function early on seems to be solely to keep them from making out.

Special Features: meh
Two new characters, Julian Blackthorn and Emma Carstairs, are introduced in this book, as Cassandra Clare's way of setting up her next book series, which will feature these two as protagonists and follow their adventures at the California Institute. That's nice and all, but considering how much exposure they get in this book, it's like their series has just started early, in the middle of the current one. Part of my frustration with the 725-page count came from the heavy inclusion of these two characters, who won't be terribly relevant until the next series (which I don't know if I'll read) and yet I'm forced to sit through whole chapters of backstory and information about their families. This felt a lot like a marketing technique to garner interest in even more Shadowhunter books, which just seems like a ploy to make more money off of a series that peaked three books ago. I've put this under Special Features simply because I've never seen this technique employed quite so blatantly in a novel before, and felt it deserved its own category.

Parting Quote:

“Your boyfriend's crazy,” he said to Clary.
“Yeah, but he’s hot,” said Clary. “So there’s that.”

That sound you hear in the distance is me groaning.

The Program [Review]

Title: The Program by Suzanne Young
Series: The Program #1
Genre: Science-Fiction
What They Say:
Sloane knows better than to cry in front of anyone. With suicide now an international epidemic, one outburst could land her in The Program, the only proven course of treatment. Sloane’s parents have already lost one child; Sloane knows they’ll do anything to keep her alive. She also knows that everyone who’s been through The Program returns as a blank slate. Because their depression is gone—but so are their memories.

Under constant surveillance at home and at school, Sloane puts on a brave face and keeps her feelings buried as deep as she can. The only person Sloane can be herself with is James. He’s promised to keep them both safe and out of treatment, and Sloane knows their love is strong enough to withstand anything. But despite the promises they made to each other, it’s getting harder to hide the truth. They are both growing weaker. Depression is setting in. And The Program is coming for them.

What I Say:
This book was my first plunge back into YA in a long while, so I was itching to get back into that crazy world where anything can happen. Knowing me, of course a dystopia novel would be my first choice! This book had creepy procedures, seriously moody kids, and a unique chance to look at fate and human nature and if a person really is only made up of their memories. That said:

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Plot: ooh

At some point in the not-too-distant future, American teens start killing themselves. Like a lot of them, a third of the population. For no discernable reason, they sink into this sudden all-consuming depression that spreads among others like a contagion. In a desperate attempt to cure what has now been classified as an epidemic, the government starts the Program in one school district in Oregon. Now, if you exhibit any signs of depression, you can get flagged by your peers or your parents and taken away to the Program, which is like a sinister version of rehab, where I imagine phrases like "for your own good" are thrown around all the time. Because people blame antidepressants for infecting the next generation, the Program has resorted to a different kind of treatment: erasing the patient's "infected" memories (i.e. all of them) and returning them to society a clean slate. Sure, they resemble zombies in polos, but at least they're not depressed anymore! It's for their own good! (see?) Sloane is sad, but not depressed. Her brother killed himself, and her best friend was taken to the Program, so she tries her best to mask her emotions in public, trying to get by until she's eighteen and free from the Program's clutches. As things start getting worse, however, she begins to spiral downwards and the Program closes in. But Sloane is so endlessly stubborn and full of righteous anger, she'll never let them erase her!

I didn't like this book at first. The first big chunk of this book was like a moody lecture, where Sloane reminds you over and over how much life in her world sucks. The exposition seemed endless and never really stopped, as the story took on an almost cyclical structure - dealing in flashbacks and memories and characters/story elements that are essentially re-introduced halfway through the novel. These gimmicks all added to the eerie feel of the book, but I groaned at some of the repetition throughout. It's hard to explain without revealing key plot details, so trust me on this one. Perhaps an unintentional advantage of Suzanne Young's long-winded introductions, as characters began to forget people and events, I had by that point forgotten them too! To be fair, I did read the book over multiple sittings, so I'll attribute some of that to my own distraction. Regardless of my opinion of the book's opening, by the halfway mark I was absolutely hooked. It had everything: evil government, secret resistance forces, a kind-of love triangle (if you're into that). The last few pages left you with the clean break of a book that could stand alone, but also a gnawing curiosity about what'll happen in the sequel.

Characters: wow

Because of the premise of this book, Sloane is a good old unreliable narrator. It's not her fault, she spends so much time reminiscing on better days and worrying at length about herself that of course she's going to get a few details wrong, more and more often as the story progresses. At her core, she's brave and curious, but throughout the story she's also broody and snarky and too optimistic in equal turns. More than once, her personal opinion or assessment of a situation seems completely off, and in a weird way, that was cool to see in a book - the main character's mind and the reader's mind diverging at points.

James is that bad-boy-with-a-heart-of-gold. He cares deeply about the people he loves, but also by consequence hates everyone else and behaves accordingly. He's the rock that keeps their little friend group together when things seem bleak, but you have to wonder, who keep James together? Also, James's protective nature bends under pressure at times, and I wonder if - in the sequel - we will see this interesting dynamic again.

Michael Realm would be the comic relief if this book had any proper comic relief. He's charming, charismatic, and a bit wise beyond his years. He eases Sloane into a new and scary world by giving her someone to trust and befriend. But, well that's a bit weird, isn't it? That's not how people work.  You have to wonder about this kid's hidden motives, is all I'm saying. Is doing the best thing for Sloane really doing what's best for her?

Relationships: ooh
Sloane and James - Here's a relationship born out of equal parts affection and tragic neediness. It works because they're a bit of a team, living that kind of you-and-me-against-the-world life. I was impressed with the natural and non-ridiculous aspects of this relationship. They don't just suddenly fall in love, they don't agonize over having or not-having sex (although they have so many external forces to agonize about, I guess they can't find the time).

Sloane and Realm - Honestly it's pretty clear how this relationship is going to work from the very start. He's the Second Guy who also finds himself in best friend territory. He never stood a chance. Add on a hazy layer of uncertainty about his self-proclaimed personal hero status and I just don't know if this will last into the sequel. (Who am I kidding, it's a novel with deliberately set up loose ends. Of course it will.)

Special Features: wow
Let's be honest, the dystopia in which Sloane lives could honestly be much worse. See, usually with a dystopia, some small problem occurs in society and the government uses that as an opportunity to take over everything and enslave all the people in a world of misery and suffering and stuff. In this book, you kind of get where the government's coming from. For one, the Program only operates in Sloane's school district; two, once you're 18, you're completely free of them; three, sure your friends don't remember you after treatment, but at least they're alive! On the other hand, the way they implement the Program is completely counterproductive! In order to prevent suicide - rather than, I don't know, trying to make the kids happier - you present this rehab program, not one your parents drive you to, but one where you're violently dragged out of class while your classmates watch?! Which then makes the kids too scared to express their emotions, which makes them depressed. Who sat down one day, dreamed this up, and thought This is a great idea! I want to hit that person.

Parting Quote:

"It's fun to sneak around, isn't it?" [Realm] asks.
"It is. And I thought nothing could beat being constantly medicated." 

It's like they try to be a little snarky? But never quite get there. Alas.

Perfect Chemistry [Review]

Title: Perfect Chemistry by Simone Elkeles
Series: Perfect Chemistry #1
Genre: Contemporary Fiction
What They Say:
When Brittany Ellis walks into chemistry class on the first day of senior year, she has no clue that her carefully created “perfect” life is about to unravel before her eyes. She’s forced to be lab partners with Alex Fuentes, a gang member from the other side of town, and he is about to threaten everything she's worked so hard for—her flawless reputation, her relationship with her boyfriend, and the secret that her home life is anything but perfect. Alex is a bad boy and he knows it. So when he makes a bet with his friends to lure Brittany into his life, he thinks nothing of it. But soon Alex realizes Brittany is a real person with real problems, and suddenly the bet he made in arrogance turns into something much more.

What I Say:
I've known vaguely about this book for a while now. I'd heard mildly positive things about it and the book trailer was pretty brilliant (haha), but the premise was so cliche that I couldn't bring myself to pick it up. But with exams coming up, I was looking for something short and simple to read, so I decided to give this Romeo and Juliet reboot a chance. While on the surface it was the same-old-story I expected, deeper down it was refreshing and unpredicatable and I set it down feeling oddly impressed. That said...

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Plot: ooh

Brittany is perfect. Really, she says so maybe thirty times in the first chapter. She's has money, clothes, friends, everything. Her life, however, is not so perfect. Her sister has cerebral palsy, her mother's always critiquing her, and her dad's never around, and her boyfriend's gotten pushy over the summer. Oh the horror! Alex is far from perfect. He's in a gang, his grades are terrible, and did he mention he's in a gang? But it's all an act, really. Alex only joined the gang to protect his little brothers after his father died, he's working hard to be the first in his family to graduate high school. Brittany would never even go near to a thug from the south side of town, and Alex wouldn't be caught dead with a preppy north side princess. When they step into their senior Chemistry class, however, all that changes. Assigned to sit together for the whole year, these sworn enemies will have to get along if they want to pass. Falling in love, though, was never part of the plan.

Yeah, it's one of those books, haha. The first hundred-or-so pages had me on auto-cringe. Alex and Brittany play caricatures of themselves for the longest time, until they finally drop their defensive walls and actually get to know each other. The alternating POV chapters added to the ABC Family flick feel, but it smooths out as it goes. Because this is one of those books, I knew how it would end before it even started, but I was not disappointed by the path from point A to point B. I was actually surprised a few times. To touch on the ending, I mean, sure I knew how it would end, but Elkeles really cranks up the cheese dial in the last few pages. The crazy this is that it didn't even bother me! At that point, the crazy-happy ending was totally welcome.

Characters: ooh

I get that Brittany was a "real girl" and had "real problems", but she was pretty whiny and waify nonetheless. Not always - she had some pretty hardass moments - but most of the time, yeah. Oddly enough, much like the cheesy ending, she kind of made me roll my eyes and smile at the same time. She's not going to win Protag of the Year, and she isn't doing feminists any favors, but she definitely played her part well.

Alex didn't ellicit any eye-rolls, but he went from I'm-such-a-hardass to I'm-so-overly-serious a little too often to make him totally likeable. Luckily, his internal prize wheel finally slows down near the end, landing on - I don't know - one of the good prizes. I'm working on my metaphors, so bear with me, haha.

Relationships: ooh
Brittany and Collin - Because this was one of those books, I knew right away that this relationship would appear perfect but actually suck beneath the surface and that they'd eventually have one of those messy breakups that'd drive her into Alex's arms. I was right about that. Crept into Afterschool Special territory with the whole pressuring-boyfriend storyline, but ah well. At least it ended fast.

Brittany and Alex - After the drawn out Darcy Phase, this relationship really drove the story. Outside of the drama etc caused by it, though, it wasn't terribly interesting. I mean, yeah I get that he's a Montague and you're a Capulet, but do you have to be so tragic about it? No, ya don't.

Special Features: ooh
When I say one of those books, I'm referring to one of those new-twist-on-an-old-tale books. This one's Romeo and Juliet at the heart, but it's more West Side Story than "Palm to palm is holy palmer's kiss". I can't say I'm a big fan of this kind of book, but I can't deny that life imitates art from time to time, and some themes are universal and therefore doomed to show up in every other YA novel, haha.

Parting Quote:

"Makin' mistakes ain't a crime, you know. What's the use of having a reputation if you can't ruin it every now and then?"

Yeah...one of those books. 

The Unidentified [Review]

Title: The Unidentified by Rae Mariz
Genre: Science-fiction
What They Say:
Kid knows her school’s corporate sponsors not-so-secretly monitor her friendships and activities for market research. It’s all a part of the Game; the alternative education system designed to use the addictive kick from video games to encourage academic learning. Everyday, a captive audience of students ages 13-17 enter the nationwide chain store-like Game locations to play.

When a group calling themselves The Unidentified simulates a suicide to protest the power structure of their school, Kid’s investigation into their pranks attracts unwanted attention from the sponsors. As Kid finds out she doesn't have rights to her ideas, her privacy, or identity, she and her friends look for a way to revolt in a place where all acts of rebellion are just spun into the next new ad campaign...

What I Say:
I waited a looong time to get my hands on this book, so I guess that's why my expectations where so high when I finally got around to reading it. All-in-all, I'd say I grudgingly liked this book. It had this shaky balance between major suck and ho-shit-must-keep-reading! which was probably her publisher's main justficstion for actually printing it. That said...

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Plot: ooh
Katey is completely average, and she has the Game scores to prove it. The Game is the future equivalent of school, except it's a giant teenage social paradise built in an old shopping mall complete with arcades, music studios, movie theatres, etc. Grades are points earned in games and - much like in real school - being popular. But the Game isn't in a mall for nothing. It's practically run by corporations with cameras everywhere to track trends and buzz and which kids they'll choose to Sponsor next. To be sponsored is to reach the height of popularity and get free stuff. These "Branded" kids have the most friends on their intouches® and party in VIP rooms à la Gossip Girl. But Kid doesn't want to get sponsored, not really. She's really interested in a recent prank pulled by an underground group of kids who call themselves Unidentified. These kids don't play to the Game's rules. They don't have any intouch® friends or follow trends and they're widely ignored by the sponsors in their attempts to eff up the system. That is, until one Kid Dade takes notice of them, and as expected things get hella complicated.

Not gonna lie, the first fifty or so pages were so hammy and dull and obnoxious that I was fully prepared to give this book 2 stars and drop it ASAP. But then Mariz pulled a twist right out of Scott Westerfeld's Extras and I was helplessly hooked till the end. I liked the idea of getting sponsored, kind of like getting Partnered on YouTube except on a grander scale. Now, to touch on the ending without being spoilery, I get what Mariz was doing there, but I was actually hoping to be surprised by a cliffhanger and a Book 2. She creates this world which, if you look closely and re-read some of the offhand comments she throws in there, is a lot eerier and more sinister than you first suspect. I mean, even the premise of the book raises suspicions as these odd little aspects of their society are revealed. Like, why are they holding the country's kids in isolation all day and the not letting them go anywhere but home every evening? Why are there laws against young people hanging out in public?? She added all this set-up for a potentially crazy good dystopia series and then oh look lastpagenosequel! Sadface.

Characters: ooh
I appreciate characters who aren't  morally ambiguous per se, but aren't whiny pasty agonizers either. So kudos to Kid for not getting on my nerves. And also for not being a preachy cynic spilling social commentary out her ears. These character traits would work for other characters, but even I wouldn't have had the staying power to read three hundred pages of "I am sooo above this." Because her friend Ari is right, in a way. We are all fame whores, just a bit. No use denying it.

That said, Ari is one of most annoying, aggravating characters out there. Just auugh. She makes all girls look like tooly little glasslickers. Auugh again. Please, dear readers, never never ever aspire to be like this girl.

Mikey is that good old best guy friend who doesn't stay angry at you for two hundred pages like some people we know. I was expecting this to be one of those books where the main character breaks away from her society but her friends are all still tragically brainwashed, but it sooo wasn't like that. Mikey's no Asher, I'll give him that.

Jeremy Swift is extremely intriguing. Now that I think about it, I don't remember him saying anything terribly adorable, but I waxed poetic for a few pages here and there all the same. But you don't get Sponsored by school security unless you like raining on parades and being just a little but toolish. That's like a rule. 

Relationships: ooh
Kid and Swift - Why does the gorgeous popular guy who never looks twice at the main character until she gets interesting have to always disappoint her in the end? Siiigh. Can't extremely cute but ultimately shallow and false love last for once?? He was soo intriguing. Oh wells. Rule No. 1 of YA prevails yet again. First guy wins, second guy loses. Should have noticed her sooner, buddy.

Kid and Mikey - Hmm, I don't know about these two. Last minute romance is always kind of a cop-out. At least he wasn't the brooding jealous type. He got over that sting of unrequited love pretty fast! I approve. So I guess he does deserve to get the girl on like the third-to-last page.

Special Features: ooh
I said earlier that this book was kind of like Extras, and it is. They both focus on the idea of fame having a nearly-monetary value in their respective worlds, both have a public ranking of the most popular people, and the main girls in both books find themselves inexplicably thrust to the top one day. Perks and fabulousness ensue, but being in the spotlight puts their secret group of prank-pulling friends in danger of exposure... Huh, weird, these books sounds awfully similar. (I didn't even notice the similarities until I started on this section, haha.) On that note, read Extras after you read this book because it was goood.

Parting Quotes:

The sound of female laughter could be chilling. Anyone who thought girl-giggling was harmless, charming, and pink was way misguided. I pressed Record on my intouch® to capture the uniquely primate sound.

Oh, and Kid remixes everyday sounds into music. That's pretty cool.

Incarceron [Review]

Title: Incarceron by Catherine Fisher
Series: Incarceron, #1
Genre: Fantasy
What They Say:
Incarceron -- a futuristic prison, sealed from view, where the descendants of the original prisoners live in a dark world torn by rivalry and savagery. It is a terrifying mix of high technology -- a living building which pervades the novel as an ever-watchful, ever-vengeful character, and a typical medieval torture chamber -- chains, great halls, dungeons. A young prisoner, Finn, has haunting visions of an earlier life, and cannot believe he was born here and has always been here. In the outer world, Claudia, daughter of the Warden of Incarceron, is trapped in her own form of prison -- a futuristic world constructed beautifully to look like a past era, an imminent marriage she dreads. She knows nothing of Incarceron, except that it exists. But there comes a moment when Finn, inside Incarceron, and Claudia, outside, simultaneously find a device -- a crystal key, through which they can talk to each other. And so the plan for Finn's escape is born ...

What I Say:
So I got to that odd point between book releases when I feel as if I have read everything. I was searching high and low for something new when I came across this. I thought, Eh, it's the holidays; what the hell! Currently awaiting its big-screen adaptation (starring Taylor Lautner? Why?), this book does a good job of boring, impressing, and freaking out the reader all at once. That said:

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Plot: ooh
Two stories. Story one: Welcome to Incarceron. An experimental paradise, created to be some kind of rehab for all the world's criminals and crazies about 150 years ago. Well, that was the plan. Today it is a barren wasteland filled with psychotic gangs and disfigured creatures and half-men. The prison is a sinister omniscient force which delights in torturing its inmates. The prison is alive. What happened here? Meet Finn. He is a prisoner just like the others, only he only remembers the last three years of his life and he sees the outside world in his dreams, a world which may not even exist. No one ever enters or leaves Incarceron, but Finn believes he was born on the outside. Needless to say, he and his "friend" Keiro are determined to get there ASAP. Story two: Welcome to the Realm. The year is 1700. Well, the year has been 1700 for the last 150 years. For some reason or other, a king decided that the world had too many problems. After having Incarceron built, he decreed that the world revert to 1700s society. Forever. Modern devices are forbidden, everyone must follow Protocol. Claudia is a princess. Well, not yet, but she will be. The daughter of the Warden of Incarceron, she is about to be forced into marriage with the Queen's arrogant son. She was once betrothed to the prince of the realm, but he was mysteriously killed in a horse accident three years ago. Or was he? (Here's where the stories come together). When Claudia and Finn both find magical keys which allow them to communicate, Claudia learns a great deal about the truth of Incarceron and its warden, and Finn learns a great deal about who he might really be.

To start, I'm always a bit wary of reading any book set before maybe 1900, just because authors can tend to crank up the pretension and obnoxious period-stuff and quite efficiently put me to sleep. After reading a few other-era novels, I have come up with the following Rule of Thumb. 1800s: interesting. 1700s: boring as hell. The book itself actually lampshades this fact. The king's like, Let's all live in a time without technological advancement, general progress, or change of any kind; that'll be interesting. Not! What's odd is that it's never clearly stated whether the "year" in Incarceron is different from the year in the outside world. Because Incarceron was created before they stopped time? Not that there are any notable differences, but still. I think I was mostly bent out shape by the lack of a climax. Sure, a few interesting events unfold near the end, but by that point I didn't really care anymore. Fisher uses an interesting plot device in this book: wait until the reader's ready to give up reading, then totally freak them out with some creepy twist, after which the reader is forced to continued until bored to tears again, at which time another crazy plot twist is employed. What can I say? It serves it's purpose. Though I was thoroughly weirded out by the end, haha. I wonder if she meant the prison to be just like HAL, but it was.

Characters: meh
Two words. Redeeming Qualities. Why does no character in this book have any redeeming qualities? I thought that was a golden rule, at least in YA: Write unto your characters qualities which make them likeable to at least some of thy readers. Here's the express version of my character analyses. Finn: confused and miserable at the beginning, confused and miserable at the end. Keiro: wretched jerkass at the beginning, wretched jerkass at the end (this one really showcases his lack of redeeming qualities throughout). Claudia: flat and pouty at the beginning, flat and pouty at the end (though living in 1700-world is probably a contributing factor). All the other characters in this book made me wonder, Why are they here?

Relationships: meh
Claudia and Finn - If I had to pick out two characters and say they were in a relationship, I would choose these two. But they really aren't. At no point is there any mention of current Like or any relationship-y banter or anything that would cause the reader to think they were in a relationship. Because they're not. But I felt like I had to put something here, haha. They only actually meet in the last twenty pages of the book, and even then you're not sure if they like each other. Really, it looks like Claudia's a nurse, crooning over this filthy, mentally-damaged boy for three hundred pages. Maybe I'll have to read the sequel to see what happens with these two, but I don't want to do that.

Special Features: ooh
So, like I said earlier. Incarceron is alive. It's technically a prison, but it's described more like a world of its own. There are "wards", but they're more like cities or countries. I guess they just took all of world's criminal and mental patients and sent them there (which sounds extremely complicated, but is never explained in the book). So there are a billion prisoners. Can you imagine a billion people dropping off the face of the earth? It's a mind-bender, because would you really notice if they're all criminals and mental patients? And then I bet the guys who made the prison were just kicking themselves when the realized, Oh wait, in a few years there'll be a whole new generation of criminals, so what was the point of trying to contain them all? At least other dystopias had better ways of controlling the undesirables. Ways that didn't involve making all the girls wear petticoats. (I can't get over what a terrible idea that is. And people signed off on that? Were there no checks and balances in that monarchy? I just don't gettt it). On another note, you know what I just noticed. This book is completely devoid of snark. Aside from a few sort-of clever retorts here and there, these kids have been entirely deprived of wit. Oh, the humanity!

Parting Quote:

Finn had leaned out over mile on mile of stinking hovels, the people running from haphazard dwellings of tin and wood, lame and diseased, their children listless. He had been glad when the wind had lifted the ship away. Incarceron was a hell. And yet he possessed its Key.

This book is strong in the mind-bending department.

The Boyfriend List [Review]

Title: The Boyfriend List by E. Lockhart
Series: Ruby Oliver, #1
Genre: Contemporary Fiction
What They Say:
Ruby Oliver is 15 and has a shrink. She knows it’s unusual, but give her a break—she’s had a rough 10 days. In the past 10 days she:
 
lost her boyfriend (#13 on the list),
lost her best friend (Kim),
lost all her other friends (Nora, Cricket),
did something suspicious with a boy (#10),
did something advanced with a boy (#15),
had an argument with a boy (#14),
drank her first beer (someone handed it to her),
got caught by her mom (ag!),
had a panic attack (scary),
lost a lacrosse game (she’s the goalie),
failed a math test (she’ll make it up),
hurt Meghan’s feelings (even though they aren’t really friends),
became a social outcast (no one to sit with at lunch)
and had graffiti written about her in the girls’ bathroom (who knows what was in the boys’!?!).

But don’t worry—Ruby lives to tell the tale. And make more lists.

What I Say:
I have been wanting to start reading this series ever since I finished The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks and decided that E. Lockhart is kind of umm awesome. This book has houseboats, misadventures, and overpriveleged prep-school kids. That said:

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Plot: ooh

So yeah, Ruby Oliver has a shrink. A shrink who asks her to write a list of all the boys in her life. It's fifteen boys long - which, yeah, makes her look like a slut - but it's not like that! Some of these are boys who she only ever talked to, some are boys she just watched from afar and (well, that's not making it look much better, is it?) Talking through the Boyfriend List is supposed to be helping Roo get to the source of her recent panic attacks in the wake of being dumped by her boyfriend, who then took up with her best friend, but this List just seems to be making things worse! The lives of teenage girls are so complicated and embarrassing!

I'll admit, that's not a very good synopsis of this book, haha. It's hard to summarize, mainly because the book is linear is some ways and cyclical in others. The linear story is about Ruby's sessions with her shrink, but each boy gets his own story within that story, and sometimes there's another story that's not exactly related to one of the boys, but finds its way in there too. (Phew.) Despite how hard it is to sum up in 5-10 sentences, I greatly appreciated the way Lockhart told this story. While I've liked how teenagers are genuinely portrayed in some of my other reviews, I was especially impressed by how genuine Ruby's voice is for a teenager and a human being. It starts on one subject, then peters out into stream of consciousness, then refocuses around some new plot point, adding side-commentary in the form of sporadic footnotes, and sometimes forgets about the original subject altogether. Ruby's narrative is one of the few I've read that truly gives me the feeling of seeing into someone's mind.

Characters: ooh
Despite (or perhaps because of) the fact that I liked Ruby so much, the other characters ranged from blah-to obnoxious in comparison. Except Ruby's sort-of-friend Noel, but he's only in there 20 pages tops. Ruby is funny, at times immature, but also capable of self-reflection and admission of (but not angsting over) her flaws. Her friends seem silly and shallow, her boyfriend is only very cool sometimes, and her parents need shrinks more than she does. Oh wait! No wonder I felt that way about all the other characters? That was the author's intention? (And this, dear reader, is why E. Lockhart is so great.)

Realtionships: ooh
Ruby and Jackson -  For all those boys on her list, Jackson is the only real boyfriend out of the bunch. Because this relationship is over from page one, and it's all told in flashback, I didn't get my hopes up for a quickie get-back-together on the last page (though Ruby certainly did). Lockhart teaches the reader a lesson in disillusionment through Ruby, who thinks Jackson hung the moon even after he dumps her, only to slowly begin to see his faults and finally discover the truth about what kind of guy he is. Buuut, because this is a series, I can't totally write these two off.

Ruby and Noel - So, Noel is the boy in Ruby's art class who is sort of amazing in general. I'm crossing my fingers for these two in the next books, even though there's been like zero foreshadowing on that, and I'm probably just being silly. He's sooo cool, though.

Special Features: ooh
Other than Gail Giles's Right Behind You, this is the only book I've read told mostly through the protag's sessions with a shrink. There's something different about a book in which the audience has been replaced by a single person, or idea of a person. I wonder if the rest of the series will stick with this format or switch it up. We shall see.

Parting Quotes:

I got a lecture about behavior and how if we wanted boys to be gentlemen we should act like ladies, which was idiotic because we didn't want the boys to be gentlemen. We wanted them to think we were pretty and ask us to dance and hold our hands and maybe kiss us in the corner and then send us clever instant messages.

Ruby Oliver: just like you!

Swoon [Review]

Title: Swoon by Nina Malkin

Series: Swoon, #1

Genre: Urban Fantasy

What They Say:

Torn from her native New York City and dumped in the land of cookie-cutter preps, Candice is resigned to accept her posh, dull fate. Nothing ever happens in Swoon, Connecticut...until Dice's perfect, privileged cousin Penelope nearly dies in a fall from an old tree, and her spirit intertwines with that of a ghost. His name? Sinclair Youngblood Powers. His mission? Revenge. And while Pen is oblivious to the possession, Dice is all too aware of Sin. She's intensely drawn to him -- but not at all crazy about the havoc he's wreaking. Determined to exorcise the demon, Dice accidentally sets Sin loose, gives him flesh, makes him formidable. Now she must destroy an even more potent -- and irresistible -- adversary, before the whole town succumbs to Sin's will. Only trouble is, she's in love with him.

What I Say:

I was drawn to this book because of the idea of someone falling in love with the person possessing someone else’s body. Especially when it’s their cousin’s body. Risqué! That said…

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Plot: ooh

So Dice has lived in the town of Swoon, CT, for a good six months, and she’s just starting to fit into suburban life with her popular cousin (Pen) when said cousin falls out of a tree from a bunch feet up. Pen should be dead, but she walks away without a scratch. Except now she’s acting a little odd. And a lot slutty. It doesn’t take long for Dice to realize that someone’s ghost is inhabiting her body (because she’s psychic, forgot to mention…) But not just any ghost, the ultra-sexy ghost of a man hanged in the 1760s for a murder he didn’t commit. So now that he’s back, he’s going to get revenge on the descendents of those who wronged him all those years ago. Well, first he’s going to fool around with the young girls of Swoon, then he’ll get revenge…

As far as the story, despite the dull parts, I was definitely pleased. It maintained a certain tone of apathy throughout, in Dice’s lack of real sympathy or pity for the residents of Swoon as Sin effs things up exacts his revenge on the town. This could be a sign of a weak and slightly heartless protag (though she does care sometimes!), but I liked it. It’s edgy in a good way (some good plot twists, fresh narrative, etc.) for the most part, but then it’s also edgy in a forced, awkward way. Imagine, if you will, a porky 14-year-old girl in a miniskirt and hooker heels trying to look sexy but just looking sad and. Yeahhh, Swoon goes there.

Characters: ooh

First of all, Dice is a great nickname. Second of all, aside from how Dice is given the inner thoughts of an English teacher (you know: flowery language and all that), she’s a pretty genuine teenager. In that I-didn’t-want-to-shoot-her kind of way. Hardly a Mary Sue, but not a jerkass either. She’s a teensy bit melodramatic, but what girl isn’t? (Yay for sweeping generalizations!) Also, she’s a New Yorker, so cool points.

The best friend aka supporting character is supposed to drive the story at least a little bit. Besides auditioning for the girl on the Girls Gone Wild DVD cover, Pen doesn’t do much for the plot. I heard this might be a series, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed for some character development later on?

Relationships: ooh

Dice and Sin - If it weren’t for the revenge thing and the sleeping around thing and the killing people thing and the lack of redeeming qualities thing, I’d totally understand why these two are together. I mean, sometimes I get it, like Ooh, he’s mysterious and funny in an eighteenth century kind of way. But then it’s like, what…? Sin earns a few points near the end of the book, but for the most part he’s just lucky he’s got a way with words.

Special Features: ooh

So, like most cliquey teens in small towns, the youth of Swoon all go by one-syllable nicknames (Candice becomes Dice, Penelope is Pen, etc). And even though I found them to be really annoying at first, they actually added something special to the story. The little nicknames gave even the rigid, snobby, rich kids a teeny bit of personality, which fleshed them out a bit. Good move, Malkin.

Parting Quotes:

In my head, I screamed at her Not without an army of ninjas am I letting you into my house. Out loud I managed, “Oh…sorry…can’t…” before darting from the car and through the front door of 12 Daisy Lane. Which I locked. Resoundingly.

 Ahh, this book reads like running water.

It's Kind of A Funny Story [Review]

Title: It’s Kind of A Funny Story by Ned Vizzini
Genre: Contemporary Fiction
What They Say:
Like many ambitious New York City teenagers, Craig Gilner sees entry into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School as the ticket to his future. Determined to succeed at life, Craig studies night and day to ace the entrance exam, and does. That's when things start to get crazy.

At his new school, Craig realizes that he's just average, and maybe not even that. The stress becomes unbearable and Craig stops eating and sleeping -- until, one night, he nearly kills himself. 

Craig's suicidal episode gets him checked into a mental hospital. There, isolated from the crushing pressures of school and friends, Craig is finally able to confront the sources of his anxiety. Ned Vizzini, who himself spent time in a psychiatric hospital, has created a moving tale about depression, that's definitely a funny story.


What I Say:
If I were to write a list of things I don’t like doing, somewhere on there would be reading a book after I’ve seen its film adaptation. Maybe it’s my book snob side, but when people tell me they’re doing that, I always wonder where they were three years ago when the book actually came out. So this particular book has been made into a film (in theatres October 8) and I was determined to read it before I watched it. For the subject matter, this book was strangely funny and heartwarming. That said…

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Plot: ooh
So there’s this boy, Craig. He’s depressed. Why? He spent a year studying for the entrance exam of one of the most prestigious high schools in the country, where the elite train to become tycoons and presidents and stuff. But Craig isn’t an elite. He isn’t a genius. He’s just an average kid, and it shows at Executive Pre-Pro. His best friend smokes pot and still aces exams without lifting a finger, the girl he loves is all over said best friend, and Craig hasn’t been able to keep down a meal in weeks. As the workload and pressure at school increase, he begins to spiral into a depression which leads to a five a.m. phone call to the Suicide Hotline. And that's all before he checks into the mental hospital…

While the overall plot of this book was good, it’s clear that Vizzini wrote this story around his characters. I actually really appreciated it. Of course I like a good story, but when it comes to contemporary fiction, I feel like everything’s been done at one point or another (and if it hasn’t, it’s probably ridiculous à la Flowers In The Attic, haha). However, I feel like there are endless combinations when it comes to characters, just like there are endless combinations with real people, so I think Vizzini made the right choice here. The story, after all, is based on his own stay in a mental hospital, so his deepest impressions would have come from the people he met, not the things he did there.

Characters: ooh
I liked Craig. I could respect him. He has a whole host of problems and talks about them at length, but for the most part he doesn’t sound like a whiner. I liked how Vizzini didn’t make him total nutcase to begin with, because I don’t think I would have sympathized with him as much if he were. Not because he was crazy, but because it wouldn’t make sense for him to have been living such a normal life before; he’d seem like a brat who didn’t want help.

I didn’t not like Noelle. I did like her. But outside of Craig, she didn’t have much to her. Though, because of how the story strongly focuses on Craig, this is the same with most of the other characters, too. An upside to this is that what we do hear about every character are always their most interesting traits and best moments.

Relationships: wow
Craig and Noelle - I loved this relationship. It was so straightforward and functional. All relationships should be like this one, haha. Okay, so maybe it was the very best relationship I ever read, not at all. But I’ve read so many overcomplicated love-like stories, that this one was at least refreshing. And who doesn’t love it when the guy gets the girl at the end?

Special Features: ooh
So this whole book is written about mental problems (it’d be weird if it weren’t…). It’s interesting stuff, not that that’s a surprise or anything. Also, I’m a sucker for a kid born and bred in New York City. Also also, the boy playing Craig in the film is kind of adorable.

Parting Quotes:

“Oh. Right. Ah…are you straight?”
She sighs. “Yes. Don’t get too excited. You don’t have a boner, do you?”
"No!” I cross my legs. “No. … Do you have to wear uniforms?”
“Are you like a school-uniform pervert?”
“No. Well…no.”

I love these two, tee hee.

White Cat [Review]

Title: White Cat by Holly Black
Series: The Curse Workers, #1
Genre: Urban Fantasy
What They Say:
Cassel comes from a family of curse workers -- people who have the power to change your emotions, your memories, your luck, by the slightest touch of their hands. And since curse work is illegal, they're all mobsters, or con artists. Except for Cassel. He hasn't got the magic touch, so he's an outsider, the straight kid in a crooked family. You just have to ignore one small detail -- he killed his best friend, Lila, three years ago. 

Ever since, Cassel has carefully built up a façade of normalcy, blending into the crowd. But his façade starts crumbling when he starts sleepwalking, propelled into the night by terrifying dreams about a white cat that wants to tell him something. He's noticing other disturbing things, too, including the strange behavior of his two brothers. They are keeping secrets from him, caught up in a mysterious plot. As Cassel begins to suspect he's part of a huge con game, he also wonders what really happened to Lila. Could she still be alive? To find that out, Cassel will have to out-con the conmen.

What I Say:
So I’ve been looking forward to reading Holly Black’s newest series for a little while now. After she was done writing about faeries, I was interested to see what Black would tackle next. White Cat has mystery, the mafia, major family issues. That said…

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Plot: ooh
So when Cassel wakes up from a nightmare hanging from the roof of Wallingford Prep’s dorm, he is pretty much expelled. It’s bad enough that he’s from a family of workers - people who can curse others with a single touch - Wallingford doesn’t need their students trying to off themselves. But Cassel’s strange dreams have a source, someone’s been working him (but who?), and he’s being followed by an odd white cat… Now that Cassel’s out of school, he needs to find his way back in. Being the only non-worker in an infamous crime family, this won’t be easy. But living among criminals all his life, he’s learned a trick or two. Though, as he begins to uncover a family secret he somehow forgot, getting back into Wallingford becomes the least of his problems.

Usually, I don’t like to read crime novels about big-talking mobsters and, well, crime. It just never caught my interest or seemed probable. This book was different, though. A contemporary twist on your Sopranos or Corleones or what have you. There are so many quirks to Black’s alternate world (and I love me some quirks, they keep things fresh) that I kept turning pages, even where the story lulled. 

Characters: ooh
Cassel is a pretty cool guy. Quick with the snark. Though for a tough, sexy kid, he gets beat up a lot. Maybe that’s just because of the whole crime family thing. Sure, he’s the hero of the story, he “saves the day”, because this is a novel. But that doesn’t mean he’s the good guy. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be the good guy. Complex, right? Haha.

We don’t see all that much of Cassel’s best friend Lila, mostly because he killed her when he was thirteen. Yeah. But we do see a few glimpses here and there, and (of course) when you’re reading an urban fantasy, no one stays dead for long. She’s our average alternative best friend, goading young Cassel into shenanigans and the like, being mysterious and such. Can’t say I actually like her as a character (she doesn’t add much to the story), but I’ll watch her develop as the series continues.

Relationships: meh
Cassel and Lila - I liked how this story didn’t center around a relationship. It gave more room for the adventure to expand. That said, it leads to the story’s relationship being pretty bad. Pre-killing Lila, the two are “just friends”, with Lila leading Cassel on while running off to hook up with his older brother. Post-killing Lila, it’s awkward and Black doesn’t touch on it at all until the end. (Yeah, I’m leaving key plot points out here to shield your unspoiled eyes, deal with it.)

Special Features: wow
Ooh, alternate universe! I really like the idea of curse workers. Of how everyone wears gloves to avoid touching people or being touched. All the politics behind it. Now that the story-as-I-know-it is over, I’m curious as to how the other books will expand on the curse worker idea. I’m actually impatient, haha. Also, check out this book’s cover. That boy is gorgeous. And the audiobook is narrated by none other than Jesse Eisenberg, making it one of my favorites ever.

Parting Quote:

"My mother wants to talk with you. She says that what you did was a cry for help."
"It was," I say. "That's why I was yelling 'Heeeelp'! I don't really go in for subtlety."

The Duff [ARC Review]

Title: The Duff by Kody Keplinger
Genre: Contemporary Fiction
What They Say: 

Seventeen-year-old Bianca Piper is cynical and loyal, and she doesn't think she's the prettiest of her friends by a long shot. She's also way too smart to fall for the charms of man-slut and slimy school hottie Wesley Rush. In fact, Bianca hates him. And when he nicknames her "Duffy," she throws her Coke in his face.

But things aren't so great at home right now. Desperate for a distraction, Bianca ends up kissing Wesley. And likes it. Eager for escape, she throws herself into a closeted enemies-with-benefits relationship with Wesley.

Until it all goes horribly awry. It turns out that Wesley isn't such a bad listener, and his life is pretty screwed up, too. Suddenly Bianca realizes with absolute horror that she's falling for the guy she thought she hated more than anyone.  

What I Say:
So, this is the first ARC I've ever gotten to review, so I was excited to be delving into a book before its release date (September 7, don't forget!) Being an 18-year-old author, Kody Keplinger provides her readers with a refreshing, genuine teenage narrative and a snarky yet impactful storyline. That said...

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Plot: ooh
Bianca is the Duff of her group of friends, says Wesley Rush one night at the local teen club. The Designated Ugly Fat Friend. Bianca hates Wesley. Popular, good-looking, slutty Wesley. But the more she thinks about this Duff thing, the more she believes it. With two gorgeous blonde best friends, how can she not? She knows she'd never have a chance with a guy like Wesley - not that she'd want one - which is why when things start going downhill at home, she shocks herself by kissing him. The kiss is the perfect distraction, and she finds she wants more. One hookup becomes two, becomes three, becomes an almost daily thing for Bianca and Wesley, but she never forgets her guidelines: he is the playboy, she is the Duff, and neither of them has feelings for the other. Or do they? Also, what will Bianca do when her secret life begins to distract her from a new real relationship with someone else?

I just plain old liked this story. Sure, it's all laid out for you and the back cover pretty much gives away the ending, but I think the author knows that. This point of this story isn't if Bianca will get from A to B, it's how she does it. Knowing how it would turn out, I found myself wondering after each new element was introduced, How are they going to end up together after this? While this story probably encourages those (usually) annoying girls who think they can "change" the bad boys in their lives, I enjoyed this book too much to rant and rail about it.

Characters: wow
Oh, Bianca.  I love a solid, level-headed, snarky protagonist. She reminds me a bit of myself, and I'm sure any teen reader will see some part of themselves in her as well. Bianca is presented with hurdles in her life, but does she whine and cry and scribble about it in her diary? No, she deals with them (though one - not me - could argue the intelligence of her choices). Personally, I think YA lit could use more Biancas and fewer Bellas.

Wesley is sold to us right away as the arrogant jerkass, which he is. But (at the risk of sounding horribly cliché) there's more to him than that. Keplinger writes Wesley as Exhibit A to the argument that a person can be more than one way. It's sounds so simple, but people seem to forget it. Wesley's a jerk, but he's also compassionate. He's a bad guy, but he's a good guy, too. Just like all of us, and everyone we know,

Relationships: wow
Bianca and Wesley - While I wouldn't call it (at first) a relationship so much as a string of relations, you can't deny that these two kept me turning pages just to see how on earth they could end up together at the end. They'll have a conversation and I'll think, Oh, here's the turning point, and then a few pages later they'll push each other even further away. You start to lose hope for them after a while, haha.

Bianca and Toby - These two are the model of the perfect relationship, or what would be perfect for Bianca, before her relationship with Wesley begins to change her way of thinking. While this relationship isn't the most interesting in the book by far, it shows Bianca (and the reader) how her idea of perfect isn't the same as what she really wants.

Parting Quote:

 "I told you, I'm awesome at everything," he [Wesley] teased, putting the PS3 controller on the floor between us. "That includes video games."
... "Not fair," I muttered. "Your sword is bigger than mine."
"My sword is bigger than everyone's."

Hehe.

Vampire Academy #1-3 [Review]

Title: Vampire Academy, Frostbite, and Shadow Kiss by Richelle Mead
Series: Vampire Academy
Genre: Urban Fantasy
What They Say:
St. Vladimir’s Academy isn’t just any boarding school—it’s a hidden place where vampires are educated in the ways of magic and half-human t ...more

St. Vladimir’s Academy isn’t just any boarding school—it’s a hidden place where vampires are educated in the ways of magic and half-human teens train to protect them. Rose Hathaway is a Dhampir, a bodyguard for her best friend Lissa, a Moroi Vampire Princess. They’ve been on the run, but now they’re being dragged back to St. Vladimir’s—the very place where they’re most in danger. . . .

What I Say:
It could get confusing and wordy, trying to fit three books into one review, but we’ll see how this goes (no big high-quality-review guarantees, haha). I guess you can say the reason I've only just started reading this series is because I was avoiding it. Like, actively avoiding it. Why? After Twilight spawned a billion other vampire novels, TV shows, etc, the idea of reading another vampire series became a bit of a turnoff. A few days ago, however, I opted to try it. I was impressed by some things, and it didn’t put me to sleep or make me gag or overuse synonyms of the word beautiful. That said…

Rating: 3 stars out of 5

Plot: wow
So there’s this girl, Rose, and her best friend Lissa. They’ve just been caught by school officials for a serious case of truancy (two years, count 'em) and are back at St. Vladimir’s Academy for their senior year. What’s weird about that? Lissa (short for Vasilisa) is a Moroi princess, Moroi being vampires in that they drink blood and sleep during the day, but different in that they’re alive and can use elemental magic. Yeah. Rose is a Dhampir, or guardian to a Moroi, and she’s pretty much human if you discount her superior strength and battle training. At the academy, misadventures ensue, Rose is getting all up close with her mentor (Dimitri), and Lissa has a thing for mysterious bad boy Christian - whose parents were evil Strigoi vampires before they were killed.

Huh. There must be a simpler way to do this. Let’s go one book at a time:

Book 1 - So everything’s dandy at the academy, except there’s this snotty girl trying to ruin Rose’s life, Lissa’s beginning to use her mysterious power and it’s making her emo and crazy, and someone out there wants that power for his/herself. Oh noes!

Book 2 - Moroi royal families are being killed left and right by Strigoi (the big-bad-actual-vampires), so the academy is holding Christmas vacation at a ski lodge and everyone’s invited! Really. Rose is still all over her mentor, but he’s (gasp!) possibly all over someone else? There’s also a Christian-being-jealous-of-Lissa-talking-to-a-hotter-guy storyline, but that doesn’t matter because when Mason (Rose’s boyfriend?) runs off to kill Strigoi - and Rose and Christian follow - all kinds of shit goes down and everything before that becomes obsolete.

Book 3 - So the first two-thirds of this book pass and then are rendered obsolete by the shit-going-down part. (Seeing a pattern here?) Main idea: Rose is seeing ghosts and going insane, or is she? Also, a new elite cult club is starting up at school, and they want Lissa to submit her will join. Also, the vampire queen (there’s a vampire queen) is stirring up trouble for our unlikely lovers.

Okay. That’s done. Re-reading this, it was hard to summarize seriously, but not because it wasn’t good. It was pretty good, interesting stuff, trust me! But when you go back and try to remember everything happened, you realize that a lot of stuff happens, some of which has nothing to do with the “big picture” and ends up sounding silly. I did like that I never got bored by details, didn’t have to suspend my belief that much (there weren’t any What? No way is that possible! moments). I just plain enjoyed it. Maybe not on a deep, dark, serious level (though it does get darker and edgier in book three), but it was fun to read. If I have to note anything in particular, it’s that there seems to be a One Character Dies Per Book rule in place here. Also, a First Two Hundred Pages Are Filler rule. Not bad rules, per se, but they don’t help the unpredictability thing.

Characters: meh
So I used to think I thought Bella Swan was annoying, but I think I actually hate Rose. At first I thought, Nice, an edgy character for once! but (at times) she can be so whiny, bratty, needy, immature, hating-people-for-no-reason and getting-in-people’s-faces-at-inappropriate-times that I wanted to hit her in the face. Repeatedly. How can Dimitri stand her? Sure, there are whole chapters where she’s pretty cool, level-headed, and badass, but god, she’s one of the most obnoxious characters (not in a parody or satire) that I ever read.

Lissa was better. Not painfully interesting, but more down-to-earth than Rose. Being part of the Hoi Moroi (haha, I’m clever), she’s reasonable and calm and all that. A bit dramatic and angsty, but with good reason (see Magic Crazy-Making Powers).

From here, there are many sub-characters, and it’s difficult to tell which are most important. Christian may not be the most crucial to the plot, but he’s my favorite. He was my main source of non-bratty snark, which was refreshing. He’s the black sheep of the Moroi, despite being one of the royals, because of the parents-going-evil thing. It makes him the most grounded of all of them, the least clueless, and who can resist a black sheep? I mean, seriously. He’s Christian the atheist. I love it. How can Rose hate him? I have no idea.

Or is Adrian my favorite? Not sure where he came from, but he’s the college-aged Moroi who just shows up at random times during the second and third books. All he does is smoke and drink because of those Magic Crazy-Making Powers, and he’s only more snarky than Christian because he’s a little lady-killer, too. Why can’t this be the Christian and Adrian series? How can Rose hate him? I have no idea. (Seeing a pattern here?)

Relationships: ooh
Do random hookups count as relationships?

Rose and Dimitri - I don’t entirely understand how this relationship works. Sure, I get the whole forbidden love thing, but why choose Rose? Really, Dimitri? Sometimes, it’s fun to read about (especially around book three, hehe) but it’s mostly Nooo-this-is-wrong! Or Nooo-you’re-too-young! Or Nooo-it’s-unprofessional! See, kids? Grown-ups can be whiny and angsty, too.

Lissa and Christian - I actually like this couple. Mostly because of Christian, but Lissa actually grows a little spine around him. The reader doesn’t see much of these two, because Rose is the main character and the universe revolves around her, but (so far) they’re the most normal part of the series. And who doesn’t love that couple everyone disapproves of? Power couple, indeed.

Special Features: ooh
I really was interested by the vampires in this series. The different groups, the social structure, the royal families, the Romanian thing: nothing I’d heard a million times before. Though some of the Dhampir mentality seemed a bit brainwashy at times, which I was glad got some mention in book three. Vampires aren't my big thing, so I was glad it didn't, like, suck. One feature which I felt needed to be addressed are this series’ covers. They’re kind of gag-inducing. I see them and think, Bad bad bad paperback novel, which is sad. They deserve better.

Well, isn’t this the longest post ever? Phew. I pulled an all-nighter reading book three, so you’re welcome, haha. The rest of the series to follow next week (or the week after, we'll see).

For the review of Vampire Academy books 4-5, click here.

Candor [Review]

Title: Candor by Pam Bachorz
Genre: Science-fiction
What They Say:
Oscar Banks has everything under control. In a town where his father brainwashes everyone, he's found a way to secretly fight the subliminal Messages. He's got them all fooled: Oscar's the top student and the best-behaved teen in town. Nobody knows he's made his own Messages to deprogram his brain. Oscar has even found a way to get rich. For a hefty price, he helps new kids escape Candor, Florida before they're transformed into cookie-cutter teens. But then Nia Silva moves to Candor, and Oscar's carefully-controlled world crumbles.

What I Say:
I like me some science-fiction and I love me some utopia (though on a small scale here), but I must say I like it even more in a contemporary setting. What's creepier than a community of brainwashed teens that could possibly exist? It's great. I grabbed this book from the library at random, but it was definitely a good choice. That said...

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Plot: wow
So there's this boy, Oscar. He lives with his father, the mayor of the little town of Candor, Florida, an idyllic little community where everything and everyone is perfect, for a price. Everyone listens to these music CDs packed with subliminal messages to control their behavior, but being the son of the mayor, Oscar discovered the secret long ago and has been unbrainwashing himself by rebrainwashing himself with CDs of his own (fridge logic is telling me this is probably not good for a person's brain. Just sayin'). So the kids in town are loaded (the real estate in Candor is just through the roof), and Oscar earns a shady living helping kids escape before they're completely brainwashed. When badgirl Nia moves to town, Hot New Girl Syndrome kicks in and Oscar totally loses his shit.

I was going to say I liked this plotline for its originality, but that's not really the right word. It kind of took elements from other works (Stepford Wives, various "escape-from" stories, even a bit of The Giver) and molded it into something new. I could still guess what might happen here or there, but not until maybe three pages before it did. The way it was written, you really wanted to the characters to make it out (though maybe not Nia).

Characters: meh
So Oscar was the mastermind behind the whole story, after his evil overlord dad. He was a good narrator, and really carried the story, seeing as outside of him and Nia, none of the characters had any depth (zombieville, remember?). Having to deal with bratty rich kids at his "job", I can understand why he often turns up the jerkass. Also, he has some issues of his own: how do you cry over your dead brother and runaway mom when you're being brainwashed to forget? Side note: I don't really like the name Oscar? Like what is that? I have yet to meet an Oscar that I like.

I should be objective about Nia, but god she annoyed me to death. For the first half of the book, I actually liked her. She's original and clever in a town of two-dimensional clones, she likes art, she's kind of nice. I like her better when she and Oscar get together (always a plus). But then Stuff Happens and I want to bludgeon her the next 200 pages. Not just because she loses all her good qualities, but it kind of bends up Oscar's head (and does he need any more mental problems?)

Relationships: meh
Oscar and Nia - Like I said, it started out good. But then, you know, the Spoilery Stuff happens and it gets all angsty and awkward and obsessive. But the change really drives the story, because it gives Oscar reasons to actually hate the town. In fact, it makes the reader feel exactly how Oscar feels (frustrated, hopeless, etc), which is actually really good writing! But yeah, not a good relationship.

Special Features: wow
Lovelovelove the utopia angle. I don't know what it is, but I just love reading about it. All the little things that make them "work" (the weird rules, the weird social structure, the weird this-and-that). It fascinates me. Also, I loved the cover. I mean, that boy is seriously good-looking. Set the tone for the whole book, haha.

Parting Quote:

"In a few minutes nobody will know what I did. Everything will be perfect again. Except for my life."

I had to return the book a while ago, so I sadly couldn't flip through for my favorite quotes. But it's creepy ones like this that keep you on the edge of your seat the whole time. Oscar's ability to brainwash people himself starts to give him this crazy feeling of ultimate control from time to time, kind of like (gasp!) his father. (Man. I have to read this book again!)