The Program [Review]

Title: The Program by Suzanne Young
Series: The Program #1
Genre: Science-Fiction
What They Say:
Sloane knows better than to cry in front of anyone. With suicide now an international epidemic, one outburst could land her in The Program, the only proven course of treatment. Sloane’s parents have already lost one child; Sloane knows they’ll do anything to keep her alive. She also knows that everyone who’s been through The Program returns as a blank slate. Because their depression is gone—but so are their memories.

Under constant surveillance at home and at school, Sloane puts on a brave face and keeps her feelings buried as deep as she can. The only person Sloane can be herself with is James. He’s promised to keep them both safe and out of treatment, and Sloane knows their love is strong enough to withstand anything. But despite the promises they made to each other, it’s getting harder to hide the truth. They are both growing weaker. Depression is setting in. And The Program is coming for them.

What I Say:
This book was my first plunge back into YA in a long while, so I was itching to get back into that crazy world where anything can happen. Knowing me, of course a dystopia novel would be my first choice! This book had creepy procedures, seriously moody kids, and a unique chance to look at fate and human nature and if a person really is only made up of their memories. That said:

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Plot: ooh

At some point in the not-too-distant future, American teens start killing themselves. Like a lot of them, a third of the population. For no discernable reason, they sink into this sudden all-consuming depression that spreads among others like a contagion. In a desperate attempt to cure what has now been classified as an epidemic, the government starts the Program in one school district in Oregon. Now, if you exhibit any signs of depression, you can get flagged by your peers or your parents and taken away to the Program, which is like a sinister version of rehab, where I imagine phrases like "for your own good" are thrown around all the time. Because people blame antidepressants for infecting the next generation, the Program has resorted to a different kind of treatment: erasing the patient's "infected" memories (i.e. all of them) and returning them to society a clean slate. Sure, they resemble zombies in polos, but at least they're not depressed anymore! It's for their own good! (see?) Sloane is sad, but not depressed. Her brother killed himself, and her best friend was taken to the Program, so she tries her best to mask her emotions in public, trying to get by until she's eighteen and free from the Program's clutches. As things start getting worse, however, she begins to spiral downwards and the Program closes in. But Sloane is so endlessly stubborn and full of righteous anger, she'll never let them erase her!

I didn't like this book at first. The first big chunk of this book was like a moody lecture, where Sloane reminds you over and over how much life in her world sucks. The exposition seemed endless and never really stopped, as the story took on an almost cyclical structure - dealing in flashbacks and memories and characters/story elements that are essentially re-introduced halfway through the novel. These gimmicks all added to the eerie feel of the book, but I groaned at some of the repetition throughout. It's hard to explain without revealing key plot details, so trust me on this one. Perhaps an unintentional advantage of Suzanne Young's long-winded introductions, as characters began to forget people and events, I had by that point forgotten them too! To be fair, I did read the book over multiple sittings, so I'll attribute some of that to my own distraction. Regardless of my opinion of the book's opening, by the halfway mark I was absolutely hooked. It had everything: evil government, secret resistance forces, a kind-of love triangle (if you're into that). The last few pages left you with the clean break of a book that could stand alone, but also a gnawing curiosity about what'll happen in the sequel.

Characters: wow

Because of the premise of this book, Sloane is a good old unreliable narrator. It's not her fault, she spends so much time reminiscing on better days and worrying at length about herself that of course she's going to get a few details wrong, more and more often as the story progresses. At her core, she's brave and curious, but throughout the story she's also broody and snarky and too optimistic in equal turns. More than once, her personal opinion or assessment of a situation seems completely off, and in a weird way, that was cool to see in a book - the main character's mind and the reader's mind diverging at points.

James is that bad-boy-with-a-heart-of-gold. He cares deeply about the people he loves, but also by consequence hates everyone else and behaves accordingly. He's the rock that keeps their little friend group together when things seem bleak, but you have to wonder, who keep James together? Also, James's protective nature bends under pressure at times, and I wonder if - in the sequel - we will see this interesting dynamic again.

Michael Realm would be the comic relief if this book had any proper comic relief. He's charming, charismatic, and a bit wise beyond his years. He eases Sloane into a new and scary world by giving her someone to trust and befriend. But, well that's a bit weird, isn't it? That's not how people work.  You have to wonder about this kid's hidden motives, is all I'm saying. Is doing the best thing for Sloane really doing what's best for her?

Relationships: ooh
Sloane and James - Here's a relationship born out of equal parts affection and tragic neediness. It works because they're a bit of a team, living that kind of you-and-me-against-the-world life. I was impressed with the natural and non-ridiculous aspects of this relationship. They don't just suddenly fall in love, they don't agonize over having or not-having sex (although they have so many external forces to agonize about, I guess they can't find the time).

Sloane and Realm - Honestly it's pretty clear how this relationship is going to work from the very start. He's the Second Guy who also finds himself in best friend territory. He never stood a chance. Add on a hazy layer of uncertainty about his self-proclaimed personal hero status and I just don't know if this will last into the sequel. (Who am I kidding, it's a novel with deliberately set up loose ends. Of course it will.)

Special Features: wow
Let's be honest, the dystopia in which Sloane lives could honestly be much worse. See, usually with a dystopia, some small problem occurs in society and the government uses that as an opportunity to take over everything and enslave all the people in a world of misery and suffering and stuff. In this book, you kind of get where the government's coming from. For one, the Program only operates in Sloane's school district; two, once you're 18, you're completely free of them; three, sure your friends don't remember you after treatment, but at least they're alive! On the other hand, the way they implement the Program is completely counterproductive! In order to prevent suicide - rather than, I don't know, trying to make the kids happier - you present this rehab program, not one your parents drive you to, but one where you're violently dragged out of class while your classmates watch?! Which then makes the kids too scared to express their emotions, which makes them depressed. Who sat down one day, dreamed this up, and thought This is a great idea! I want to hit that person.

Parting Quote:

"It's fun to sneak around, isn't it?" [Realm] asks.
"It is. And I thought nothing could beat being constantly medicated." 

It's like they try to be a little snarky? But never quite get there. Alas.

City of Bones [Review]

Title: City of Bones by Cassandra Clare

Series: The Mortal Instruments, #1
Genre: Urban Fantasy
What They Say:
When fifteen-year-old Clary Fray heads out to the Pandemonium Club in New York City, she hardly expects to witness a murder - much less a murder committed by three teenagers covered with strange tattoos and brandishing bizarre weapons. Then the body disappears into thin air. It's hard to call the police when the murderers are invisible to everyone else and when there is nothing - not even a smear of blood - to show that a boy has died. Or was he a boy?

What I Say:
(sidenote: when I returned to this blog, I found this incomplete gem waiting in the Drafts folder, like a sign that I should start here. Plus, with the Mortal Instruments film coming to theatres this August, it's perfect timing! So some of the information in these first two sections is dated because it's from 2011 haha) Okay, so maybe I've read this book a hundred times over the last two years. Aaand maybe I'm at this point entirely biased when it comes to rating this particular series. But. With exams coming up and all, I won't be able to read a new book for at least a week or so. Solution? This. City of Bones peels back the glamour of the human world, revealing a dark underworld of demons, warlocks, vampires, all that just under our noses. This book is a fast-paced, snark-filled adventure that will shock and amaze and bend your mind just a little. That said...

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Plot: wow

Clary Fray is fifteen and totally normal. Her best friend Simon is also fifteen and totally normal, though more nerdy than not. That is, until the day she sees three teens murder a boy at a nightclub. At least, she thinks that's what they were doing. Except they had odd marks on their bodies, and the killed boy could change his shape and they called him a demon. But that's silly - demons don't exist, right? Clary tries to forget it, but keeps running into one of the killers, Jace. Jace is snarky and arrogant and beautiful and calls himself a Shadowhunter - a trained demon killer. Curious as to why Clary, an average "mundane", can see Downworlders, he keeps tabs on her while becoming an endlessly frustrating pain in Clary's side (though she's a pretty big thorn, too). Then, without warning, Clary's mother begins acting strangely, insisting that she and Clary leave the city immediately. And then her mother disappears. Jace’s vigilance saves her life when she returns home only to be attacked by a demon lurking in her ransacked apartment. And when Jace draws a healing rune on Clary’s arm – runes are deadly to the average person, but I guess Jace just isn’t thinking? – it works on her. Clary, Jace decides, isn’t a mundane at all. She’s a Shadowhunter. And that’s only the half of it.

So I remember way back in 2008 when I first picked up this book at the library. From the summary and thickness of the thing, I wasn't impressed. Buzzwords like Shadowhunter and Nephilim were big turn-offs, because it sounded like try-hard fantasy nonsense. But it wasn't that! Cassandra weaves intrigue through the story like individual threads in gorgeous hipster hoodie. Masterful storyteller that she is, each chapter feeds into the next, presenting new mysteries but considerately solving old ones along the way - so the reader never feels hopelessly lost. The book's equal parts action/mystery and Like Story, easing non-fantasy-fans into the world gently, padding the random new words and monsters with a classic albeit predictable love triangle that - in turn - isn't presented as the Most Important Thing In Clary's World, which I appreciated.

Characters: WHOA
I like Clary well enough. She's artsy and likes to read and fights with her mom and probably mirrors most of the girls reading the book - so she's very relatable, especially as the first-person audience-insert character - but most of the big events in the book seem to happen to her, rather than because of her. Granted, it's the first book in a series, so character development is sure to be a long and dangerous journey (hah).

Jace Wayland is one of the few YA characters I've ever gone really daffy over. At first, his over-inflated ego brought on a few fond eye rolls, but over time you start to realize he thinks he's so great really just is that great. And everyone else begrudgingly knows it, too. Jace's main point of intrigue stems from his attempts to appear flippant and cool in this state of Jerkass Perma-snark, a fact he actually lampshades at one point when he jokes "I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain." And whoa, does he have some inner pain! And serious Daddy Issues! Lastly, I truly appreciate how True Like doesn't dilute his personality into love-soup, as often happens in books where a Good Girl Fixes a Bad Boy. This shows that while some of his snark is just bravado, it's also deeply embedded into his very soul. Jace Wayland is the true Snark King, is what I'm saying.

The things I would do for a best friend like Simon! Brooklyn-born, huge personality, clever and nerdy, and kind of a massive hipster if I'm honest, Simon has got it all going on. He's thrust into this amazing world of magic and intrigue that turns its massive nose down at him because he's a "mundane" human, but does he let that get him down? If his best friend Clary's going to be fighting monsters and getting into trouble, he's going to be right there with her, no matter how little anyone wants him around. He's especially interesting to me because he's the only one who, when things get too weird or dangerous, can walk out and go back to his normal life. Only he chooses not to. Yeah, Simon's the best.

Relationships: wow
Clary and Jace - I like the Darcy Phase in this book, because at no point do these two necessarily dislike each other. It's more of a drawn out Snark-Off between two people so clever and proud and just waiting for the other to blink. And by blink I mean tumble headfirst into Like, of course. However, because of Rule #3 of YA: Happiness Doesn't Last and OH MAN does it not last in this story. Star-crossed lovers to the max.

Clary and Simon - They should make sad Sarah McLachlan commercials for lovesick best friends like Simon Lewis. Except instead of the SPCA phone number, the screen would flash Rule #2 of YA (Under no circumstances can best friends end up together) and Rule 2 Subsection B (The Girl must be completely oblivious to said best friend's love until the most devastating possible moment). Subsection B is here attributed to Clary's teenage self-absorption and Simon's general selflessness and thing for red-heads. Never had a chance, poor kid.

Special Features: WHOA
This series focuses around the Shadowhunters. Said to be descended from angels, the Shadowhunters were created to protect the human world from demons, who slip between dimensions and do nasty things on earth. Aside from the obviously exciting action aspect of the Shadowhunter world, fighting monsters, completely unknown to humans and being general hardasses, you get hints here and there that the society of Shadowhunters is inherently flawed as they move into the modern age, full of prejudice and a constant attitude of supremacy over humans and Downworlders. It's cool to see the "new generation" (Jace, Alec, and Isabelle) start to challenge some of those old-timey social norms that mirror our own more closely than you 'd think!

Parting Quote:

"Don't touch any of my weapons without my permission."
"Well, there goes my plan for selling them all on eBay," Clary muttered.
"Selling them on what?"
Clary smiled blandly at him. "A mythical place of great magical power."

Ooh a book with an even distribution of snark between male and female characters yes!

Matched [Review]

Title: Matched by Ally Condie
Series: Matched, #1
Genre: Science-fiction
What They Say:
Cassia has always trusted the Society to make the right choices for her: what to read, what to watch, what to believe. So when Xander's face appears on-screen at her Matching ceremony, Cassia knows with complete certainty that he is her ideal mate...until she sees Ky Markham's face flash for an instant before the screen fades to black.

The Society tells her it's a glitch, a rare malfunction, and that she should focus on the happy life she's destined to lead with Xander. But Cassia can't stop thinking about Ky, and as they slowly fall in love, Cassia begins to doubt the Society's infallibility and is faced with an impossible choice: between Xander and Ky, between the only life she's known and a path that no one else has dared to follow.

What I Say:
I have been waiting to get my hands on this book for quite a while. The premise was extremely intriguing, and finally getting to sit down an dive into Condie's brave new world was v exciting for a u/dystopia-lover like me. Matched did not disappoint - it had a lot of chances to, but it didn't. I am sitting on thumbtacks waiting for the sequel. That said:

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Plot: wow
Welcome to the Society, where every aspect of life is controlled by the government. It's kind of like summer camp: you choose the activities you want to do, but the staff decide what you eat and when you do everything and if you live or die (kidding). Anyway, a big part of growing up in the society is the Matching. Every month, the government puts all eligible seventeen-year-olds' names into a big old sorting machine and draws names until every girl has a Match, the man she will marry. Cassia has just been Matched to none other than her best friend Xander. Cassia is psyched to start planning the rest of her life around marrying Xander, but when she checks her Match info card and sees a different boy's name: shy, mysterious Ky Markham. Seeing his name was just a fluke, she is told later. Ky is not her Match, in fact, he will never have a Match because of his (mysterious) social status. Cassia ought to just forget him, but she can't stay away. Ky is from another province in the Society, about which she slowly begins to learn as she grows closer to this boy who is not meant for her, a breach is protocol which is pretty much taboo in their case. The more she learns about the Society and the truth about where Ky grew up, she uncovers some dark secrets and finds herself falling into danger. Well, of course she does. This is a sci-fi utopian love story. Duhh.

It's common knowledge at this point that you can create the lamest utopian society ever and it'll still probably fascinate me. Condie's Society has all the aspects of a good one: lots of citizen obliviousness; complete control by ever-watchful, cheery-but-creepy government officials; and a good amount of scorn and smugness in the face of past societies (usually ours today) which were crazy-stupid and almost ruined everything. And, of course, lotsa propaganda! The problem with these kinds of books is that I'm usually stressed out by all the danger and running and betrayal and stuff, so I was glad to find that this book is pretty low on that kind of drama. I'm especially glad that it doesn't end in a frustrating, mind-bending cliffhanger. Sure there's a cliff, but I didn't close the book feeling like I was about to fall off it. I deeply appreciate when a writer takes time to cushion the blow of the Big Twist or Shocking Revelation, so thanks Condie. You saved me from at least one sleepless night.

Characters: ooh
I can respect Cassia as a leading lady. She's logical and straightforward like the Society itself, but also tries to think in the abstract like her grandfather with his forbidden poetry and "not going gentle". She's not exactly sympathetic - I'm never all that worried if she'll be okay, which is an odd change that I can't determine the cause of - but she is an easily believable member of her Society, all rooted in probability and efficiency. As the series progresses, we'll hopefully see her start to develop into her own person. Then I'll be more worried if she lives or dies.

I plain old liked Ky Markham from the start, but when I tried to think of reasons before I wrote this review I realized I didn't have any. I like the idea of Ky: how he's mysterious and an outsider and the only one who can write and how he tells his life story in fragments on the back of napkins. He knew all the secrets, so I wanted to know him. Much like Cassia did. And gahh I love the name Ky Markham. I really hope we see this guy again.

I don't get how Xander is supposed to be Cassia's best friend. Sure, their friendship is established at the beginning, but I never really saw it. They don't even seem to know each other or really like each other or have anything to talk about, at least not the way "best friends" do. Xander doesn't really get a chance to shine until the very end, I think. Much like Ky, once I found out Xander had a secret of his own, I really wanted to see more of him. I'm awful, haha.

Relationships: ooh
Cassia and Xander - I love how this book defies Rule #1 of YA (The First Guy always gets the girl), but that's only because of Rule #2 (Under no circumstances can best friends end up together) and Rule 2 Subsection A (This realization must always cause irreparable damage to said best friendship). Honestly, Caxander never stood a chance. I've already touched on how they were pretty lame besties, but they were an awkward couple, too. Glad Condie didn't try to smush these two together at the last minute, because things would have gotten ugly real fast.

Cassia and Ky - Despite the fact that these two are textbook Starcrossed Lovers, I can deal with reading about these two for a whole trilogy. Cassia's characters unfolds when she's around Ky - she's less numbers and rules and more ambition and rambunctiousness (yeah, I just used 'rambunctiousness' wihout irony). Ky is the quiet, subtle, boyish type of flirt, which is lovely to read about, especially when compared to Xander: the awkward, tenth-grade-boyfriend-type.

Special Features: ooh
So this books references the poem "Do not go gentle into that good night" by Dylan Thomas often, usually as a catalyst for non-conforming behavior. I'd never read this one before (I'm guilty of not being all that big on poetry), but I really loved how it worked with this story. That and I'm a sucker for a good line - you know, those lines that just make you close your eyes and you swear you can feel them - and this one has quite a few.

Parting Quote:

"Is falling in love with someone's story the same thing as falling in love with the person himself?"

Yeah...the one downside about this book is it isn't terribly quoteable. Major snark-drought in this one. But think on these words for awhile.

Last Sacrifice [Review]

Title: Last Sacrifice by Richelle Mead
Series: Vampire Academy #6
Genre: Urban Fantasy
What They Say:
Rose Hathaway has always played by her own rules. She broke the law when she ran away from St. Vladimir’s Academy with her best friend and last surviving Dragomir Princess, Lissa. She broke the law when she fell in love with her gorgeous, off-limits instructor, Dimitri. And she dared to defy Queen Tatiana, leader of the Moroi world, risking her life and reputation to protect generations of dhampir guardian to come.

Now the law has finally caught up with Rose- for a crime she didn’t even commit. She’s in prison for the highest offense imaginable: the assassination of a monarch. She’ll need help from both Dimitri and Adrian to find the one living person who can stall her execution and force the Moroi elite to acknowledge a shocking new candidate for the royal throne: Vasilisa Dragomir. But the clock on Rose’s life is running out. Rose knows in her heart the world of the dead wants her back… and this time she is truly out of second chances. The big question is, when your life is about saving others, who will save you?

What I Say:
So after my Vampire Academy binge this summer, I've been counting the hours until the last book in the series, and I was not disappointed. Well, I wasn't totally not disappointed, but you'll hear about that later. This series closer had jailbreaks, hillbillies, and a whole lotta spirit. That said...

4 out of 5 stars

Plot: wow

So Rose is in jail for a murder she didn't commit. But not for long! She has better things to do, like run across the country as a fugitive searching for the Lissa's dad's long-lost love-child with her ex-lover Dimitri who totally hates her even though he's all over her and it's pretty obvious he still loves her. (whew). Not to mention tracking down clues on Queen Tatiana's real murderer to clear her name so she can, you know, show her face in public without getting shot down by Guardians. Yikers. So achieving this near-impossible feat is not easy, but will enlisting the help of some of her old nemeses get Rose into more trouble than she was bargaining for? (Spoiler: Yeah, it will.)

I love a mystery. Provide me with clues, shady motives, and a high chance of betrayal, and I am on board for at least three hundred pages. That said, I especially love a mystery in which you're pretty sure you know whodunit, but nahh you don't! As I predicted in my review of the last two books, we get a good long look at positions of power in the royal court and lengths to which some will go to get them. Or to make sure other people don't get them. It's a vamp-eat-vamp world out there, kiddies. In all, I was glad to see a big decrease in dullness this time around. I wasn't bored to tears even once. Though I was moved to rage at one point (see Relationships).

Characters: wow

Oh Rose. If I were an elementary school teacher, I would give this girl a pat on the back, a Most Improved award, and a freakin' gold star on top of that. I have never been more proud of a YA character's dynamic-ness. I mean, she wasn't an awful, hideous brat from hell in this one! I didn't want to flog her or cut her hair or lock her in an attic! She was smart and thoughtful and sympathetic. So much respect. Except in the case of one plot development for which I may never ever be able to forgive her (see Relationships).

Adrian, Adrian, Adrian. After six books, he has earned a place on my list of favorite YA characters, if I ever write a list of favorite YA characters. He pretty much fills the snark quota for the whole series. The rest is just gravy. I only wonder what he plans to do with his life. Seriously. A person can't drink and smoke and flirt forever...can they?

It's hard to focus on specific characters in this series. They're really an ensemble, tiny aspects of each character making up the story as a whole. Though I will note that at a certain point in the book, all of the characters seems to lose their color. It's very apparent in the last few chapters. The story is still strong, but everyone just seems...tired. Which kind of makes sense. After everything that happens, I'd be too tired for clever quips, too.

Relationships: ooh

Rose and Adrian - It isn't really spoilering to tell you that no, these two don't end up together. Why, you thought they would? Well, apparently Rule #1 of YA is "The girl never chooses the Second Guy, no matter how beautiful and snarky and perfect he is for her because apparently girls are like Memory Foam Mattresses that mould to the shape of the first guy who sleeps on them!" Gahh, I bleed for you, Adrian. I really do. To be fair, I saw this coming, seeing as they spend less than fifty pages together in the whole thing, and a good eighty percent of those meetings take place in Rose's dreams. So.

Rose and Dimitri - Sigh. Well, I get it. They complete each other and stuff. Their auras get all tingly around each other. I guess they're soulmates. He's just so serious all the time. Rose says so herself, "[Adrian and I] have fun together." I just feel like Rose and Dimitri can't be all intense and angsty forever, right? I can imagine Rose and Adrian growing old and domestic, sure. Dimitri, not so much. Though, of course, there are probably a thousand other readers who think the exact opposite, haha.

Special Features: ooh

I was sad to see so little focus on Moroi elemental magic in this one. I mean, it pops up when it's really necessary to the plot, but it's hopelessly eclipsed by spirit. (Spirit, if you forgot, is the mysterious "fifth element", linked to mind powers and emo-ness). There was mention of spirit on at least every other page. Spirit this, spirit that. Well, sure it was central to the plot, but gahh, too much. Also, please Richelle Mead, can we reprint this series with different covers? Those angsty, pouty covers are pretty much the main reason I've had to put this series into my Guilty Pleasure pile. I can't imagine walking out into public with them...gahh.

Parting Quote:

     From behind Lissa, I heard Christian say, "Worst. Timing. Ever."
     Adrian studied Lissa and then looked at Christian sprawling on the bed on the far side of the suite. "Huh," Adrian said, letting himself in. "So that’s how you’re going to fix the family problem. Little Dragomirs. Good idea."
    Christian sat up and strolled toward them. "Yeah, that’s exactly it. You’re interrupting official Council business.” 

Oh these guys.

My Heartbeat [Review]

Title: My Heartbeat by Garret Freymann-Weyr
Genre: Contemporary Fiction
What They Say:
As she tries to understand the closeness between her older brother and his best friend, fourteen-year-old Ellen finds her relationship with each of them changing.  

What I Say:
I don't entirely understand why, but I have loved this book since forever. Literally. Like, if West Virginia would go ahead and legalize interspecies marriage, I would soo be making my case that books are living creatures and lobbying at Congress and moving to West Virginia and all that just so I could be eternally bonded to the teenage dream that is My Heartbeat. I re-read it every year around Christmas because I suddenly remember that it's been a year since I last read it. It's that good. The weird thing, though, is that if I took a step back and really analyzed the quality of Freymann's writing the way I do with other books, I could probably find something to criticize. But I just can't bring myself to do that. That's how much I love this book. It's pretty much the ultimate young adult New York City-in-the-winter Like story with a happy ending. Swoon. That said...

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars 

Plot: wow
I was so surprised that Goodreads only had a one-sentence summary for this book. It sounds so blah when you put it that way. There is, like, zero mention of James's gorgeousness. Sigh. Let me put it straight for you. Meet Ellen. She's about to be a freshman in high school. Link is Ellen's older brother. He and his best friend James are about to be seniors. Ellen is totally madly in love with James. They are all, these three, very classy kids. At school, Ellen starts to realize that the girls are all either in love with James or her brother. Ellen doesn't see the fuss, as she has had exclusive access to both boys as long as she can remember. Link has always been her brother. Ellen has always loved James. James has always loved her, in his way. But after a passing comment from a classmate ("They're like a couple, aren't they?"), she begins to wonder if it's possible that Link and James might love each other as well.

This story can be taken two ways, which is nice. When I first read it, I was happy to see James and Ellen together, because she is the main character and I love a good non-gooey Like story. But when I re-read it now, I'm just sad that he isn't with Link, which is the real point of the book: things fall apart and people are complicated and all that. Bittersweet is the word. Also, characters with daddy issues (Jace Wayland, Percy Jackson, Oscar Banks, etc) are always especially snarky, I find. And ohh boy, there are daddy issues everywhere in this one.

Characters: wow
Ellen reminds me a bit of Charlie from The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Sometimes she seems to be mature beyond her years, and other times I'm surprised by how naive she is. I feel like every use of the word totally was like Freymann remembering Oh, right, Ellen's only fourteen. It's alright, Freymann, I liked her narration. Even if it's probably given me an unrealistic idea of New York City and its love magic.

I hate to call Link McConnell a drama queen, but in retrospect he kind of is. Albeit a brooding, resentful, oddly appealing, hyperintelligent one. The guy can teach himself fractions at age nine but can't think of non-spiteful ways to deal with his father. In that way, he is very much like James. Like I said, daddy issues abound. Though I seriously approve of his taste in films.

Now James is like a puppy who's been abandoned, but not so recently that he needs a hug or anything. He has this way with words (though I suppose it's really Freymann's way with words) that just kills you. Gahh, it's lovely as hell. Like, put-down-the-book-and-sigh lovely. Like, tea-on-Easter lovely. Anyway. He's a lot like Link, which is probably why they're best friends, but where Link is allergic to confrontation (much like Ellen) and therefore passive-aggressive to the max, James may be the chillest thing there ever was. He doesn't need to fret about the unwritten rules of society because they don't necessarily apply to him, being rich and beautiful and endlessly fascinating. Moral of this story: money solves everything. Nahhh, kidding. Wouldn't that be awful?

Relationships: wow
Link and James - Hmm, does it count as a relationship if it largely rooted in denial and resentment and jealousy and fear? Why yes it does. True Like is complicated, my friends.

Ellen and James - This relationship is much, much simpler by comparison. While Link and James only kept Ellen around to prevent awkward moments and crossed boundaries, at some point James realized Ellen was totally madly in love with him and well, girls have interesting qualities too, right? To be fair, Ellen and James are perfect for each other. They're both sooo classy. Seriously. Oh my god, it's insane.

Special Features: ooh
The city! Again! You can never read too many novels about the city. Fact. Or new money families who live in the city, high on cash but low on love for their kids. And everyone likes a nice little tale about sexual identity and finding your place in the world and getting your daddy to love you (haha, well sort of!). Ugh, but I hate the cover. I don't know, Keith Haring's art doesn't impress me much.

Parting Quotes:

   "I don't want to sleep with a girl," I say. "I love James."
   This is why no one in my family ever says anything. Look at the way private - totally and irrevocably private - things just slip out.
   "I mean, not really," I amend hastily. "I just think so."
   "This vacillating affection appears to run in the family," Dad says, signaling for the check.

 Sigh... I just want to lie in a bed of money and dream of tea and romance and That Hamilton Woman.

Girl Parts [Review]

Title: Girl Parts by John Cusick
Genre: Contemporary Fiction/Science-Fiction
What They Say:

What happens when a robot designed to be a boy’s ideal “companion” develops a will of her own? A compulsively readable novel from a new talent.
 
David and Charlie are opposites. David has a million friends, online and off. Charlie is a soulful outsider, off the grid completely. But neither feels close to anybody. When David’s parents present him with a hot Companion bot designed to encourage healthy bonds and treat his “dissociative disorder,” he can’t get enough of luscious redheaded Rose — and he can’t get it soon. Companions come with strict intimacy protocols, and whenever he tries anything, David gets an electric shock. Parted from the boy she was built to love, Rose turns to Charlie, who finds he can open up, knowing Rose isn’t real. With Charlie’s help, the ideal “companion” is about to become her own best friend.

What I Say:
I've had my eye out for Girl Parts since summer, so I was pretty psyched to pick it up once it rolled into the library. Despite the intriguing premise, I was reasonably underwhelmed by this one. I mean, a story about robots should be interesting, right? That said...

Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Plot: ooh

So these two boys go to the same Catholic school, but are in completely different socials groups. David is the rich, popular playboy whose parents think he's disassociated because he watched one of his classmates commit suicide on the internet and hardly batted an eyelid. Charlie is the nature-loving outcast who doesn't want friends - at least, not friends like David. David thinks he's hit the jackpot when his parents buy him a female robot to teach him to form connections, but he gets a shock whenever he tries to make a move on her. One of these days, however, he is determined to get to those girl parts.

This story had a lot of promise, but while it had some mild highlights, it was a good 95% boring. Reading about a priveleged kid with no real problems and a less-priveleged kid with no real problems can only fascinate me for so long. Especially when not one of the characters has any handle on wit or snark. I mean, there was wannabe-snark, but YA is just a mess without the real thing. Real life is about zingers and sarcasm! Ha.

Characters: meh

David was so thoroughly the jerk-who-sort-of-grows-feelings. Cusick really stuck to his clichés in this book. I guess it was nice that he didn't make some magical Jerkass-to-Gentleman transformation at the end, but at least then the story would have had a point...

Charlie was...oh, sorry, I just fell asleep. Rule #1 to Being An Outsider: one must be intriguing and/or mysterious at all times. Charlie definitely broke that rule. How can he look down on all the rich kids when he's just as dull as they are? Other clichés perpetuated: boy is nobody, boy can't talk to girls, boy somehow gets above-average girl anyway. Oh, John, why?

Relationships: meh

David and Rose - Boohoo, my killer 16-year-old charm isn't getting me some, sooo I'm going to be a jerk and throw out the girlfriend my daddy had to buy for me. My life is sooo hard. Boohoo, I'm a Japanese robot who has apparently been programmed to worship this 16-year-old boy That's not weird at all...

Charlie and Rose - Yay, I just got my first kiss. Who cares if it's with a malfunctioning Japanese robot? I laugh at those dumb rich kids whose parents buy them sex dolls, but it's actually totally normal! (Sigh.)

Special Features: ooh

Well, despite the fact that the robot in this story was pretty dull, it was an interesting angle to take. A main love interest who isn't technically real? A for effort on the idea, Cusick. I see where you were trying to go with that.

Parting Quotes:
I tried realllly hard to find a cute/interesting/snarky quote from this book but I simply couldn't. Though perhaps I'll find one on the re-read and add it later.
 

The Boyfriend List [Review]

Title: The Boyfriend List by E. Lockhart
Series: Ruby Oliver, #1
Genre: Contemporary Fiction
What They Say:
Ruby Oliver is 15 and has a shrink. She knows it’s unusual, but give her a break—she’s had a rough 10 days. In the past 10 days she:
 
lost her boyfriend (#13 on the list),
lost her best friend (Kim),
lost all her other friends (Nora, Cricket),
did something suspicious with a boy (#10),
did something advanced with a boy (#15),
had an argument with a boy (#14),
drank her first beer (someone handed it to her),
got caught by her mom (ag!),
had a panic attack (scary),
lost a lacrosse game (she’s the goalie),
failed a math test (she’ll make it up),
hurt Meghan’s feelings (even though they aren’t really friends),
became a social outcast (no one to sit with at lunch)
and had graffiti written about her in the girls’ bathroom (who knows what was in the boys’!?!).

But don’t worry—Ruby lives to tell the tale. And make more lists.

What I Say:
I have been wanting to start reading this series ever since I finished The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks and decided that E. Lockhart is kind of umm awesome. This book has houseboats, misadventures, and overpriveleged prep-school kids. That said:

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Plot: ooh

So yeah, Ruby Oliver has a shrink. A shrink who asks her to write a list of all the boys in her life. It's fifteen boys long - which, yeah, makes her look like a slut - but it's not like that! Some of these are boys who she only ever talked to, some are boys she just watched from afar and (well, that's not making it look much better, is it?) Talking through the Boyfriend List is supposed to be helping Roo get to the source of her recent panic attacks in the wake of being dumped by her boyfriend, who then took up with her best friend, but this List just seems to be making things worse! The lives of teenage girls are so complicated and embarrassing!

I'll admit, that's not a very good synopsis of this book, haha. It's hard to summarize, mainly because the book is linear is some ways and cyclical in others. The linear story is about Ruby's sessions with her shrink, but each boy gets his own story within that story, and sometimes there's another story that's not exactly related to one of the boys, but finds its way in there too. (Phew.) Despite how hard it is to sum up in 5-10 sentences, I greatly appreciated the way Lockhart told this story. While I've liked how teenagers are genuinely portrayed in some of my other reviews, I was especially impressed by how genuine Ruby's voice is for a teenager and a human being. It starts on one subject, then peters out into stream of consciousness, then refocuses around some new plot point, adding side-commentary in the form of sporadic footnotes, and sometimes forgets about the original subject altogether. Ruby's narrative is one of the few I've read that truly gives me the feeling of seeing into someone's mind.

Characters: ooh
Despite (or perhaps because of) the fact that I liked Ruby so much, the other characters ranged from blah-to obnoxious in comparison. Except Ruby's sort-of-friend Noel, but he's only in there 20 pages tops. Ruby is funny, at times immature, but also capable of self-reflection and admission of (but not angsting over) her flaws. Her friends seem silly and shallow, her boyfriend is only very cool sometimes, and her parents need shrinks more than she does. Oh wait! No wonder I felt that way about all the other characters? That was the author's intention? (And this, dear reader, is why E. Lockhart is so great.)

Realtionships: ooh
Ruby and Jackson -  For all those boys on her list, Jackson is the only real boyfriend out of the bunch. Because this relationship is over from page one, and it's all told in flashback, I didn't get my hopes up for a quickie get-back-together on the last page (though Ruby certainly did). Lockhart teaches the reader a lesson in disillusionment through Ruby, who thinks Jackson hung the moon even after he dumps her, only to slowly begin to see his faults and finally discover the truth about what kind of guy he is. Buuut, because this is a series, I can't totally write these two off.

Ruby and Noel - So, Noel is the boy in Ruby's art class who is sort of amazing in general. I'm crossing my fingers for these two in the next books, even though there's been like zero foreshadowing on that, and I'm probably just being silly. He's sooo cool, though.

Special Features: ooh
Other than Gail Giles's Right Behind You, this is the only book I've read told mostly through the protag's sessions with a shrink. There's something different about a book in which the audience has been replaced by a single person, or idea of a person. I wonder if the rest of the series will stick with this format or switch it up. We shall see.

Parting Quotes:

I got a lecture about behavior and how if we wanted boys to be gentlemen we should act like ladies, which was idiotic because we didn't want the boys to be gentlemen. We wanted them to think we were pretty and ask us to dance and hold our hands and maybe kiss us in the corner and then send us clever instant messages.

Ruby Oliver: just like you!

Swoon [Review]

Title: Swoon by Nina Malkin

Series: Swoon, #1

Genre: Urban Fantasy

What They Say:

Torn from her native New York City and dumped in the land of cookie-cutter preps, Candice is resigned to accept her posh, dull fate. Nothing ever happens in Swoon, Connecticut...until Dice's perfect, privileged cousin Penelope nearly dies in a fall from an old tree, and her spirit intertwines with that of a ghost. His name? Sinclair Youngblood Powers. His mission? Revenge. And while Pen is oblivious to the possession, Dice is all too aware of Sin. She's intensely drawn to him -- but not at all crazy about the havoc he's wreaking. Determined to exorcise the demon, Dice accidentally sets Sin loose, gives him flesh, makes him formidable. Now she must destroy an even more potent -- and irresistible -- adversary, before the whole town succumbs to Sin's will. Only trouble is, she's in love with him.

What I Say:

I was drawn to this book because of the idea of someone falling in love with the person possessing someone else’s body. Especially when it’s their cousin’s body. Risqué! That said…

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Plot: ooh

So Dice has lived in the town of Swoon, CT, for a good six months, and she’s just starting to fit into suburban life with her popular cousin (Pen) when said cousin falls out of a tree from a bunch feet up. Pen should be dead, but she walks away without a scratch. Except now she’s acting a little odd. And a lot slutty. It doesn’t take long for Dice to realize that someone’s ghost is inhabiting her body (because she’s psychic, forgot to mention…) But not just any ghost, the ultra-sexy ghost of a man hanged in the 1760s for a murder he didn’t commit. So now that he’s back, he’s going to get revenge on the descendents of those who wronged him all those years ago. Well, first he’s going to fool around with the young girls of Swoon, then he’ll get revenge…

As far as the story, despite the dull parts, I was definitely pleased. It maintained a certain tone of apathy throughout, in Dice’s lack of real sympathy or pity for the residents of Swoon as Sin effs things up exacts his revenge on the town. This could be a sign of a weak and slightly heartless protag (though she does care sometimes!), but I liked it. It’s edgy in a good way (some good plot twists, fresh narrative, etc.) for the most part, but then it’s also edgy in a forced, awkward way. Imagine, if you will, a porky 14-year-old girl in a miniskirt and hooker heels trying to look sexy but just looking sad and. Yeahhh, Swoon goes there.

Characters: ooh

First of all, Dice is a great nickname. Second of all, aside from how Dice is given the inner thoughts of an English teacher (you know: flowery language and all that), she’s a pretty genuine teenager. In that I-didn’t-want-to-shoot-her kind of way. Hardly a Mary Sue, but not a jerkass either. She’s a teensy bit melodramatic, but what girl isn’t? (Yay for sweeping generalizations!) Also, she’s a New Yorker, so cool points.

The best friend aka supporting character is supposed to drive the story at least a little bit. Besides auditioning for the girl on the Girls Gone Wild DVD cover, Pen doesn’t do much for the plot. I heard this might be a series, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed for some character development later on?

Relationships: ooh

Dice and Sin - If it weren’t for the revenge thing and the sleeping around thing and the killing people thing and the lack of redeeming qualities thing, I’d totally understand why these two are together. I mean, sometimes I get it, like Ooh, he’s mysterious and funny in an eighteenth century kind of way. But then it’s like, what…? Sin earns a few points near the end of the book, but for the most part he’s just lucky he’s got a way with words.

Special Features: ooh

So, like most cliquey teens in small towns, the youth of Swoon all go by one-syllable nicknames (Candice becomes Dice, Penelope is Pen, etc). And even though I found them to be really annoying at first, they actually added something special to the story. The little nicknames gave even the rigid, snobby, rich kids a teeny bit of personality, which fleshed them out a bit. Good move, Malkin.

Parting Quotes:

In my head, I screamed at her Not without an army of ninjas am I letting you into my house. Out loud I managed, “Oh…sorry…can’t…” before darting from the car and through the front door of 12 Daisy Lane. Which I locked. Resoundingly.

 Ahh, this book reads like running water.

The Duff [ARC Review]

Title: The Duff by Kody Keplinger
Genre: Contemporary Fiction
What They Say: 

Seventeen-year-old Bianca Piper is cynical and loyal, and she doesn't think she's the prettiest of her friends by a long shot. She's also way too smart to fall for the charms of man-slut and slimy school hottie Wesley Rush. In fact, Bianca hates him. And when he nicknames her "Duffy," she throws her Coke in his face.

But things aren't so great at home right now. Desperate for a distraction, Bianca ends up kissing Wesley. And likes it. Eager for escape, she throws herself into a closeted enemies-with-benefits relationship with Wesley.

Until it all goes horribly awry. It turns out that Wesley isn't such a bad listener, and his life is pretty screwed up, too. Suddenly Bianca realizes with absolute horror that she's falling for the guy she thought she hated more than anyone.  

What I Say:
So, this is the first ARC I've ever gotten to review, so I was excited to be delving into a book before its release date (September 7, don't forget!) Being an 18-year-old author, Kody Keplinger provides her readers with a refreshing, genuine teenage narrative and a snarky yet impactful storyline. That said...

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Plot: ooh
Bianca is the Duff of her group of friends, says Wesley Rush one night at the local teen club. The Designated Ugly Fat Friend. Bianca hates Wesley. Popular, good-looking, slutty Wesley. But the more she thinks about this Duff thing, the more she believes it. With two gorgeous blonde best friends, how can she not? She knows she'd never have a chance with a guy like Wesley - not that she'd want one - which is why when things start going downhill at home, she shocks herself by kissing him. The kiss is the perfect distraction, and she finds she wants more. One hookup becomes two, becomes three, becomes an almost daily thing for Bianca and Wesley, but she never forgets her guidelines: he is the playboy, she is the Duff, and neither of them has feelings for the other. Or do they? Also, what will Bianca do when her secret life begins to distract her from a new real relationship with someone else?

I just plain old liked this story. Sure, it's all laid out for you and the back cover pretty much gives away the ending, but I think the author knows that. This point of this story isn't if Bianca will get from A to B, it's how she does it. Knowing how it would turn out, I found myself wondering after each new element was introduced, How are they going to end up together after this? While this story probably encourages those (usually) annoying girls who think they can "change" the bad boys in their lives, I enjoyed this book too much to rant and rail about it.

Characters: wow
Oh, Bianca.  I love a solid, level-headed, snarky protagonist. She reminds me a bit of myself, and I'm sure any teen reader will see some part of themselves in her as well. Bianca is presented with hurdles in her life, but does she whine and cry and scribble about it in her diary? No, she deals with them (though one - not me - could argue the intelligence of her choices). Personally, I think YA lit could use more Biancas and fewer Bellas.

Wesley is sold to us right away as the arrogant jerkass, which he is. But (at the risk of sounding horribly cliché) there's more to him than that. Keplinger writes Wesley as Exhibit A to the argument that a person can be more than one way. It's sounds so simple, but people seem to forget it. Wesley's a jerk, but he's also compassionate. He's a bad guy, but he's a good guy, too. Just like all of us, and everyone we know,

Relationships: wow
Bianca and Wesley - While I wouldn't call it (at first) a relationship so much as a string of relations, you can't deny that these two kept me turning pages just to see how on earth they could end up together at the end. They'll have a conversation and I'll think, Oh, here's the turning point, and then a few pages later they'll push each other even further away. You start to lose hope for them after a while, haha.

Bianca and Toby - These two are the model of the perfect relationship, or what would be perfect for Bianca, before her relationship with Wesley begins to change her way of thinking. While this relationship isn't the most interesting in the book by far, it shows Bianca (and the reader) how her idea of perfect isn't the same as what she really wants.

Parting Quote:

 "I told you, I'm awesome at everything," he [Wesley] teased, putting the PS3 controller on the floor between us. "That includes video games."
... "Not fair," I muttered. "Your sword is bigger than mine."
"My sword is bigger than everyone's."

Hehe.

Fallen [Review]

Title: Fallen by Lauren Kate
Series: Fallen, #1
Genre: Urban Fantasy
What They Say:
There’s something achingly familiar about Daniel Grigori.

Mysterious and aloof, he captures Luce Price’s attention from the moment she sees him on her first day at the Sword & Cross boarding school in sultry Savannah, Georgia. He’s the one bright spot in a place where cell phones are forbidden, the other students are all screw-ups, and security cameras watch every move.

Even though Daniel wants nothing to do with Luce–and goes out of his way to make that very clear–she can’t let it go. Drawn to him like a moth to a flame, she has to find out what Daniel is so desperate to keep secret . . . even if it kills her.

What I Say:
Wow. Okay. So I read this one right after I finished with Mockingjay, looking for something mildly interesting to get into. Um. This is one of the first books I’ve read that has literally put me to sleep. Multiple times. It started out as a quiet story about an troubled teen at a boarding school; which was boring, but not so bad. Then, in the last few chapters, it became a completely different kind of story, which was boring and bad. That said…

Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Plot: ugh
So Lucinda Price is being sent to reform school. Why? Her parents think she's crazy because she sees dark shadows all the time, and oh yeah, her boyfriend mysteriously combusted one night in the woods. Poor Lucinda thinks it's her fault because this is a teeny novel and therefore the protagonist must be entirely self-centered. So. At the new school, Luce makes a smattering of colorful and crazy friends, including one cute guy (Cam) who’s all charming and wants to get to know her better. Then, because there has to be a love triangle shoved in my face right away, there’s another cute guy (Daniel) who hates her and flips her off the first day. Reading from her Bella Swan textbook, Luce decides she’s going to pursue the boy who hates her, because she feels a mysterious connection to him. Mysterious things happen that don’t necessarily have anything to do with Daniel, but Luce decides they do. So for about two hundred pages we read about Luce going to class, being bored, being socially awkward, and obsessing over Daniel Grigori. Then, suddenly! All this supernatural stuff starts happening for no apparent reason! What?

'Ugh' is right. Had this book been just its first two hundred pages, it would have been okay. Boring, a little bland, but okay. Maybe three stars if I was in a good mood. Luce has friends, has an admirer, and is living her life. Maybe a coming-of-age story? But then, suddenly (and I really mean suddenly) the entire story changes course. (We'll call this The Break for future reference). One minute everyone’s human, the next practically no one is human. Not just that, the author decides that we need to have the climax of the story right now even though nothing has been explained and the reader is like Wait, what…? (And even then, it’s boring). I get that this is going to be a series, and so the author needs some loose ends to hold interest into later books, but this was just terrible. An example: every five minutes Luce mentions her boyfriend who mysteriously caught fire and died, and then there’s a fire at the school (so you think Oh, maybe they're connected?) but then you don’t get a single answer about either of them. Not even a little clue to show us that the author has any idea what she’s doing. Why, then, are these things mentioned at all? It was very frustrating. Maybe Lauren Kate needs to take a class on brainstorming and making those little charts before writing a story, because this was just ridiculous. I saw a comment online by a girl who said this was one of her all-time favorite books (like, OMG yeah!). I wanted to find her parents and bludgeon them to death. I didn’t drop the rating to one star, because this book wasn’t so bad that I actually got angry while reading it, but it did come close.

Characters: meh
So despite being as interesting as a box of rocks (though sometimes a box of rocks can be interesting, if they’re shiny), Luce wasn’t such a bad main character. She fulfilled all the absolutely necessary jobs of a protagonist, including but not limited to: being present in the story, sometimes having an opinion about what’s going on, and speaking on occasion. Other than that, I just wanted to throw a box of rocks at her.

Arriane is my favorite character of the bunch, or she had the potential to be. The first time we see her, she reveals that she wears a tracking bracelet because she’s one of the crazier, more dangerous students at Sword and Cross. I thought, Ooh, she’s gonna do crazy things. Yeah, no. After that scene, Lauren Kate apparently felt she had adequately characterized Arriane and she needed no further substance. She’s the “fun one”, I guess, but she’s just as mild-mannered as the rest of them. Don’t even get me started on after The Break, when everyone decides to just drop their personalities and adopt new ones…

Cam also started out interesting as the Cool New Guy, but once we’ve determined that he wants to woo Luce, he’s just boring and predictable until he’s not (that stupid Break again…)

Was Daniel supposed to be attractive? Or romantic? Or interesting? He was none of those things. Or better yet, he was a little bit of all of those things, but not enough. I mean, he’s supposed to be the main event and yet he doesn’t have a single line of worth for about two hundred pages. At least I can say that his personality doesn’t change with The Break, because he didn’t have much of one to begin with.

Relationships: meh
Luce and Cam - While I noted that this book would have been okay without the Breaky supernatural parts, these two would not have been. Cam may be good-looking, but their “relationship” gets annoying. Cam buys Luce shiny things and almost desperately tries to get her attention, and Luce notices but doesn’t care because she’s obsessed with Daniel who doesn’t even like her (pre-Break). What’s the point of a love triangle when it bores you to tears?

Luce and Daniel - This book is the gold standard of Fast-Forward Romance. These two go from being outwardly indifferent to each other (if you discount Luce stalking him on the internet and dreaming about him all the time, and Daniel hating her stupid guts) to suddenly in love. They don’t even have a full normal conversation before professing this undying love. What the hell?

Special Features: meh
I was impressed when Hush, Hush did fallen angels (not a spoiler: the book’s called Fallen, what do you expect?), not because they’re crazy-amazing or anything, but because it fit the story and added a unique supplement to the average teenage relationship. In this book, it’s like Lauren Kate got writers’ block after her forbidden love story got boring and decided Hey, let’s throw all this other angel-y shit in there and see what happens! Word of advice to writers: just because the formula doesn’t blow up and singe your face when you add your crazy new plot device to it, doesn’t mean it isn’t a bad idea. Shame on you, Miss Kate (if that is your real name).

Parting Quote:

The only way to survive eternity is to be able to appreciate each moment.

Oh, gag me with a spoon. I beg you. I need to go wash my hands and read an awesome book to wipe my memory of the likes of this.

Mockingjay [Review]

Title: Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
Series: Hunger Games #3
Genre: Science-Fiction
What They Say:
Katniss Everdeen, girl on fire, has survived, even though her home has been destroyed. Gale has escaped. Katniss's family is safe. Peeta has been captured by the Capitol. District 13 really does exist. There are rebels. There are new leaders. A revolution is unfolding.
It is by design that Katniss was rescued from the arena in the cruel and haunting Quarter Quell, and it is by design that she has long been part of the revolution without knowing it. District 13 has come out of the shadows and is plotting to overthrow the capitol. Everyone, it seems, has had a hand in the carefully laid plains — except Katniss.
The success of the rebellion hinges on Katniss's willingness to be a pawn, to accept responsibility for countless lives, and to change the course of the future of Panen. To do this, she must put aside her feelings of anger and distrust. She must become the rebels' Mockingjay — no matter what the personal cost.

What I Say:
So I finally sat down and read the last installment in Suzanne Collins’s series about our crapsack future where the government puts kids in an arena to kill each other every year. This was a long-awaited read, filled with danger, adventure, and a good hard look at the idea of power and the people fighting over it. That said…

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Plot: wow
(Because of how highly-anticipated this book is to readers, I’m working harder than usual to keep from spoilering all over the place. Though I might do a Spoiler Post later to discuss the story further, later this week.)

So Katniss’s war has started, and Katniss is finally getting to see it. She’s been the face of rebellion for over a year, and now she needs to be the voice as well. But can she live up to the hype, or will she crash and burn like when Ke$ha sings live? District 13 is real and it’s safe, but will she be able to put her trust in the new leaders of the fight? Will she be able to survive Peeta being in the hands of the Capitol? Will she be able to survive Gale being back in her own hands? Will we ever find out if President Snow is a vampire?? So many questions! (This is the best I can do without giving anything away, haha. I’m so sorry.)

If this were Catching Fire (the second book in the series), I would have given the plot a 'WHOA'. Because that book was amazing all over. While Mockingjay brought the story to a close and tied up loose ends, after the first hundred-fifty pages, something begins to happen to it. This is where most of the action begins, but in the battles and telling of events, I became a bit less invested in the meaning of the plot. I still wanted to know what happened in the end, but once Collins got the setup out of the way, the innards of the story began to weaken. A good example of this comes from the climax, which is written in such a way that it comes and goes and leaves you wondering Did I miss it? The event happens, but there’s no particular point or meaning to it. And then another climactic event occurs, and there seems to be no point to that either. The rest of the book passes in an odd daze, as if Collins finished her social commentary and made her point forty pages from the end, and the rest was just ending credits. I think my biggest disappointment is that we see the “end”, and then we don’t even get a little peek at what happens next. Well, we do, but…

Characters: wow
I love how in the “What They Say” section, it says that to save the rebellion Katniss must "put aside her feelings of anger and mistrust," because that never actually happens. She’s pretty angry and distrustful the whole time. For good reason. My only issue was that she never expressed it properly. She’d think, “Oh, I hate so-and-so”, but treat them professionally, and then she’d think, “Oh, I love Peeta I love Gale”, and treat them like shit. Often. Also, all her passion is gone in this book. Once she “gets with the plan” of the story, she totally clocks out. She plays their puppet and thinks like one, too. Not gonna spoil, but I will say that I’m disappointed with how things turn out for our heroine. It’s just, I don’t know, very un-Katniss.

So Gale and Peeta were little assholes in this book, haha. That’s not always a bad thing, though. I lumped these two together so I wouldn’t be tempted to spoil with details. So maybe Peeta being alive is a spoiler, but nothing you couldn’t guess. I suppose Gale can’t help being a dick, because there’s a war on and he’s spilling testosterone out his ears. I guess Peeta can’t help it, either. Though at least Peeta didn't make me want to kill all his little brothers and sisters.

Not sure I’m highlighting the most important characters here, but Finnick is absolutely amazing, so he’s going into this review. This book flips the coin, showing us the inner-Finnick and leaving the rest (suggestive eyebrow waggle) to the imagination. He and Katniss forge an unlikely bond, and thank god, because this story needed him. He’s definitely the only character who didn’t annoy me in this one, the main reason the characters section gets a ‘wow’.

What’s this? Annoying whiny sister Prim grows up? So proud! Really, though. At thirteen years old, Prim has seen all the horrors of her world and taken it in stride. She doesn’t get too much mention in this one, and never gets a real chance to show how she’s grown, but you can just tell. I liked her better than Katniss, at least.

Relationships: ooh
Katniss and Gale - Hey, Katniss. There’s a war on and everything’s going to shit, but I’m still going to put you in awkward situations and make you feel guilty for not jumping all over me. Hey, Gale. I know we’ve been close since childhood, but I’m going to be petty and blame you for things out of your control so we’ll be fighting all the time.

Katniss and Peeta - Hey, Katniss. I know I’ve always thought you were flawless and beautiful, but I’m starting to see that you’re kind of a heartless bitch. Hey, Peeta. I know it isn’t your fault that ohspoilershmmmhuh? happened, but I’m going to be petty and blame you for things out of your control so we’ll be fighting all the time. (See a pattern here?)

Special Features: WHOA
I. Love. Dystopia. I don’t quite know why, but it’s just so much fun to read about. Especially when it bears eerie similarities to our own world. I mean, after all, the Hunger Games are just like Survivor (with an admittedly different goal, but still), and we watch that on TV. Well, maybe around 2002 we did.

Parting Quote:

    “You be nice to her, Finnick. Or I might try and take her away from you.” It could be a joke, if the tone wasn’t so cold. Everything it conveys is wrong. …
   “Oh, Peeta,” says Finnick lightly. “Don’t make me sorry I restarted your heart.”

See? What did I tell you? It’s asshole fever in District 13.


Anyway, since we're talking about the Hunger Games and mentioned the likes of Ke$ha, to check out this very cute Catching Fire parody of Tik Tok, click here. And if you like Mike Posner, here's a Mockingjay parody of Cooler Than Me (click here).

Vampire Academy #4-5 [Review]

For the review of Vampire Academy books 1-3, click here.

Title: Blood Promise and Spirit Bound by Richelle Mead
Series: Vampire Academy #4 and  5
Genre: Urban Fantasy
What They Say:

How far will Rose go to keep her promise?

The recent Strigoi attack at St. Vladimir’s Academy was the deadliest ever in the school’s history, claiming the lives of Moroi students, teachers, and guardians alike. Even worse, the Strigoi took some of their victims with them. . . including Dimitri.

He’d rather die than be one of them, and now Rose must abandon her best friend, Lissa—the one she has sworn to protect no matter what—and keep the promise Dimitri begged her to make long ago. But with everything at stake, how can she possibly destroy the person she loves most?

What I Say:
You know how they say “The plot thickens” as a series continues? Well, in this case I feel like the plot thins out as the series progresses. Don’t get me wrong, this is a good thing. The fourth and fifth books in the Vampire Academy series (well, at least the fifth) were more enjoyable because they had straight-forward stories. Here, our pool of characters tightens to around five main guys rather than the million being introduced every other page in the first two, and we continue the Darkening and Edgifying that began in book three. That said…

Rating: 4 stars out of 5

Plot: wow
Book 3 - Oh nooo, Dimitri’s been turned into a Strigoi vampire and it’s up to Rose to stake his ass out of love. So off to Russia we go for three-hundred-or-so pages. Rose lurks around bars until she meets an Alchemist (kind of like a supernatural janitor?) who leads her to Dimitri’s family in Siberia (because for some reason, she thought that after becoming an Evil Demon of the Night, Dimitri would want to visit his mommy). So after an irrelevant fifty pages, by some crazy coincidence she finds Dimitri! But (big surprise), things don’t turn out the way she planned. Meanwhile, back at school a completely different - but equally irrelevant to the series - story is unfolding. Lissa has a new party-girl friend. Could it be that this binge-drinking risk taker is a bad influence?

Book 4 - So Rose is back at school and the last book becomes nothing more than a sad, boring nightmare. Forget about the fact that Rose dropped out of school, she gets to graduate anyway! She’s finally getting over her evil lost love and starting anew with Adrian the alcoholic angel. Except that she’s totally still obsessed with Dimitri and pulls a slew of crazy stunts in order to ohspoilershmmmhuh? (You’ll see.) Some very powerful people get royally pissed (see what I did there, "royally"? Ha!), and while her tomfoolery gets her the miracle she wanted, she’s going to need an actual-grownup-problem-fixing miracle to get out of the trouble she’s in now!

So, while I didn’t love book four, book five made up for it. I’m sort of proud of how this series has progressed (or maybe I just like it because the Royal Court reminds me of Alicante in the Cassie Clare’s City of Glass). Also, ever see I Am Legend? Strigoi-Dimitri reminds me of this guy. Also, in book five Richelle Mead finally learns the value of having relevant information throughout the whole book! No more nothing-matters-but-the-climax storylines! So proud!

Characters: wow
Oh Rose. While book four put me to sleep from time to time, I was so happy that Jerkass Rose was gone. So happy. Then she goes back home and leaves her maturity in Russia. That said, I have to admire her spunk. At least she means well these days and doesn’t randomly hate people anymore. Baby steps, Rose. Baby steps.

Adrian! I’m so glad he’s a main character now! You can tell because I’m using exclamation points!! In a nearly-hilarious case of irony, he becomes Rose's voice of reason in these books. Also, he’s bleeding money out of his ears and omgheissototallycute. Honestly, I think Mead wrote him into the story just as a personal favor to me.

I would talk about Lissa and Christian, but they haven’t changed much from the first three books. Still cool, just static.

Relationships: wow
Rose and Adrian - Giggle-squeak. These two are what Rose and Dimitri could be if they weren’t angsting it up all the time (and if Dimitri were cleverer). Poor Adrian has to deal with Rose pining over her lost lover all the time. He’s too good for her. Despite the fact that, being a YA book series, Rose is doomed to end up with the First Guy She Liked, I still have hope that she and Adrian will grow old together and have a whole litter of “Little dhampirs”.

Special features: ooh
I like me a royal court, at least when it isn’t full of Queen’s English-speaking assholes. Lissa being the Dragomir princess and Rose being a pawn (let’s face it, she’s a pawn), we get to see both sides of the system, and how people with power like to screw with people; or do they? (see Mysterious Motives).

Parting Quote:

"Yeah, that's exactly what I want. To help my girlfriend get her old boyfriend back." He turned away again, and I heard him [Adrian] mutter, "I need two drinks."

If Adrian took a drink every time Rose was a little brat or spat on his feelings, he’d die of alcohol poisoning. True fact.