City of Heavenly Fire [Review]

Title: City of Heavenly Fire by Cassandra Clare
Series: The Mortal Instruments #6
Genre: Urban Fantasy
What They Say:
Sebastian Morgenstern is on the move, systematically turning Shadowhunter against Shadowhunter. Bearing the Infernal Cup, he transforms Shadowhunters into creatures out of nightmare, tearing apart families and lovers as the ranks of his Endarkened army swell.

The embattled Shadowhunters withdraw to Idris - but not even the famed demon towers of Alicante can keep Sebastian at bay. And with the Nephilim trapped in Idris, who will guard the world against demons?

When one of the greatest betrayals the Nephilim have ever known is revealed, Clary, Jace, Isabelle, Simon, and Alec must flee - even if their journey takes them deep into the demon realms, where no Shadowhunter has set foot before, and from which no human being has ever returned...

What I Say:
After the first three Mortal Instruments books, which I fiercely adored when I first read them in high school, the fourth and fifth books both felt a bit forced; an artificial continuation of a series that should have ended. That said, I made the effort to read all the way to the end of this series, if only to find out who lives and who dies. CoHF would have gotten a much higher rating if there weren't five other books out there that were basically exactly like this one. This book had messed up brothers, a big final battle, and a strong feeling of lethargy throughout. That said:

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Plot: ooh

Sebastian Morgenstern has brought war to the world of Shadowhunters. Though it's not exactly a fair fight. Armed with an Infernal Cup that can convert Shadowhunters into soulless Endarkened warriors, no one is safe from this new fate worse than death - from which there is no cure. Jace Wayland Herondale Lightwood's veins are thrumming with heavenly fire - the only thing that can hurt the now invulnerable Sebastian - but he's having trouble getting close enough to attack, considering Sebastian is completely untraceable. Jace and Clary and co. are left with absolutely no leads as to his whereabouts until three of the Council representatives (and Clary's mother) are kidnapped. Now they have two days to save her mother, find and kill Sebastian, stop a war, and return home in one piece.

Above all things, let me tell you: this book is long as hell. 725 pages, compared to the last Harry Potter book which had 759. I'm a pretty fast reader, but between my summer jobs and studying for the GMAT, I've only had free time to read here and there. By the time I finished this book, I honestly felt like I'd been reading it for years, though in all fairness it'd only been weeks. Now, I'm not critiquing the book simply for being long - because the last three Harry Potter books were extremely long - yet somehow with those I always felt engaged and didn't simply stop caring halfway through. That feeling of lethargy I mentioned before began with the fourth book (City of Fallen Angels) and has only grown since. Characters I used to love, like Jace and Simon, have grown so dull and overplayed that when they faced their greatest ever opponent near the end, I seriously didn't care if they made it. Forget about Clary, who simply bored me to tears consistently, without any hope of redemption. As far as story progression goes - this book is 725 pages long and not that much happens, beside the main story arc of build-up to a large battle. All personal storylines occur as afterthoughts on the really long journey to this final clash, which devolves into one very long scene in which no actual fighting occurs. And then at least a hundred more pages of falling action that should could have been heavily pared down. 

Characters: meh 

What first drew me (and scores of others, I'm sure) to Jace Wayland was his complete disregard for authority and his extreme levels of snark. The more hopeless and deranged his life with Clary became, the brighter he blazed and the harder he fought to protect the things he could be sure of (his family, his world, etc). After the last page of City of Glass, when he and Clary realize their love is no longer forbidden, it all goes away. Things go south in CoFA, but it's not the same. Instead of keeping his head straight and using snark as his strongest weapon, he just broods and angsts - strangely like Alec. Jace at the end of this series is a changed man from where we left him in CoG, and it's not really a good thing.

I admired Clary in the first three books - as I've mentioned in my review of City of Bones - because despite being the audience-insert character, she wasn't a blank slate. Her passion for art wasn't something every reader could relate to, but it fleshed her out and gave her character. In this book, her love of art is only mentioned in relation to her ability to create new runes, which has become an arbitrary power that almost feels like an easy way of allowing her to be a sub-par Shadowhunter with no ability to defend herself and yet not appear completely useless.

Relationships: ooh
Jace and Clary - I got my happy ending for these two at the end of City of Glass, so everything that has come afterwards has gone a bit over my head. All the drama and angst of Jace's possession and then his time spent in his brother's capitivity, it just didn't stir me the way it should have because their story had already ended. Restarting it in City of Fallen Angels just felt forced, so it was like reading about two completely different people's relationship. I feel these two have gotten a watered-down version of what could have been (slash already was) a pretty fantastic love story.

Simon and Isabelle - This relationship piqued my interest, mainly because it's the only plot device that is unique to this book. Painted as the eternal (heh) underdog, I was very glad to see Simon be able to come into his own and be confident in his relationship with Isabelle.

Alec and Magnus - I really appreciated this relationship at first, because it was absolutely typical and ordinary in all ways except for that Alec and Magnus are both boys. That's good to see in literature, because that's what it's like in real life. Over time, though, I feel the relationship itself just became a symbol of Alec's angst because he's looked down on by his father for being gay, which ventures into After School Special territory. The actual issues of their relationship - Magnus never aging and Alec wanting him to be mortal - only come to the forefront at the whim of the author as a plot device to keep them apart. To be fair, the same is done to a lesser extent to Clary and Jace's relationship in the case of the Heavenly Fire, whose function early on seems to be solely to keep them from making out.

Special Features: meh
Two new characters, Julian Blackthorn and Emma Carstairs, are introduced in this book, as Cassandra Clare's way of setting up her next book series, which will feature these two as protagonists and follow their adventures at the California Institute. That's nice and all, but considering how much exposure they get in this book, it's like their series has just started early, in the middle of the current one. Part of my frustration with the 725-page count came from the heavy inclusion of these two characters, who won't be terribly relevant until the next series (which I don't know if I'll read) and yet I'm forced to sit through whole chapters of backstory and information about their families. This felt a lot like a marketing technique to garner interest in even more Shadowhunter books, which just seems like a ploy to make more money off of a series that peaked three books ago. I've put this under Special Features simply because I've never seen this technique employed quite so blatantly in a novel before, and felt it deserved its own category.

Parting Quote:

“Your boyfriend's crazy,” he said to Clary.
“Yeah, but he’s hot,” said Clary. “So there’s that.”

That sound you hear in the distance is me groaning.

City of Bones [Review]

Title: City of Bones by Cassandra Clare

Series: The Mortal Instruments, #1
Genre: Urban Fantasy
What They Say:
When fifteen-year-old Clary Fray heads out to the Pandemonium Club in New York City, she hardly expects to witness a murder - much less a murder committed by three teenagers covered with strange tattoos and brandishing bizarre weapons. Then the body disappears into thin air. It's hard to call the police when the murderers are invisible to everyone else and when there is nothing - not even a smear of blood - to show that a boy has died. Or was he a boy?

What I Say:
(sidenote: when I returned to this blog, I found this incomplete gem waiting in the Drafts folder, like a sign that I should start here. Plus, with the Mortal Instruments film coming to theatres this August, it's perfect timing! So some of the information in these first two sections is dated because it's from 2011 haha) Okay, so maybe I've read this book a hundred times over the last two years. Aaand maybe I'm at this point entirely biased when it comes to rating this particular series. But. With exams coming up and all, I won't be able to read a new book for at least a week or so. Solution? This. City of Bones peels back the glamour of the human world, revealing a dark underworld of demons, warlocks, vampires, all that just under our noses. This book is a fast-paced, snark-filled adventure that will shock and amaze and bend your mind just a little. That said...

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Plot: wow

Clary Fray is fifteen and totally normal. Her best friend Simon is also fifteen and totally normal, though more nerdy than not. That is, until the day she sees three teens murder a boy at a nightclub. At least, she thinks that's what they were doing. Except they had odd marks on their bodies, and the killed boy could change his shape and they called him a demon. But that's silly - demons don't exist, right? Clary tries to forget it, but keeps running into one of the killers, Jace. Jace is snarky and arrogant and beautiful and calls himself a Shadowhunter - a trained demon killer. Curious as to why Clary, an average "mundane", can see Downworlders, he keeps tabs on her while becoming an endlessly frustrating pain in Clary's side (though she's a pretty big thorn, too). Then, without warning, Clary's mother begins acting strangely, insisting that she and Clary leave the city immediately. And then her mother disappears. Jace’s vigilance saves her life when she returns home only to be attacked by a demon lurking in her ransacked apartment. And when Jace draws a healing rune on Clary’s arm – runes are deadly to the average person, but I guess Jace just isn’t thinking? – it works on her. Clary, Jace decides, isn’t a mundane at all. She’s a Shadowhunter. And that’s only the half of it.

So I remember way back in 2008 when I first picked up this book at the library. From the summary and thickness of the thing, I wasn't impressed. Buzzwords like Shadowhunter and Nephilim were big turn-offs, because it sounded like try-hard fantasy nonsense. But it wasn't that! Cassandra weaves intrigue through the story like individual threads in gorgeous hipster hoodie. Masterful storyteller that she is, each chapter feeds into the next, presenting new mysteries but considerately solving old ones along the way - so the reader never feels hopelessly lost. The book's equal parts action/mystery and Like Story, easing non-fantasy-fans into the world gently, padding the random new words and monsters with a classic albeit predictable love triangle that - in turn - isn't presented as the Most Important Thing In Clary's World, which I appreciated.

Characters: WHOA
I like Clary well enough. She's artsy and likes to read and fights with her mom and probably mirrors most of the girls reading the book - so she's very relatable, especially as the first-person audience-insert character - but most of the big events in the book seem to happen to her, rather than because of her. Granted, it's the first book in a series, so character development is sure to be a long and dangerous journey (hah).

Jace Wayland is one of the few YA characters I've ever gone really daffy over. At first, his over-inflated ego brought on a few fond eye rolls, but over time you start to realize he thinks he's so great really just is that great. And everyone else begrudgingly knows it, too. Jace's main point of intrigue stems from his attempts to appear flippant and cool in this state of Jerkass Perma-snark, a fact he actually lampshades at one point when he jokes "I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain." And whoa, does he have some inner pain! And serious Daddy Issues! Lastly, I truly appreciate how True Like doesn't dilute his personality into love-soup, as often happens in books where a Good Girl Fixes a Bad Boy. This shows that while some of his snark is just bravado, it's also deeply embedded into his very soul. Jace Wayland is the true Snark King, is what I'm saying.

The things I would do for a best friend like Simon! Brooklyn-born, huge personality, clever and nerdy, and kind of a massive hipster if I'm honest, Simon has got it all going on. He's thrust into this amazing world of magic and intrigue that turns its massive nose down at him because he's a "mundane" human, but does he let that get him down? If his best friend Clary's going to be fighting monsters and getting into trouble, he's going to be right there with her, no matter how little anyone wants him around. He's especially interesting to me because he's the only one who, when things get too weird or dangerous, can walk out and go back to his normal life. Only he chooses not to. Yeah, Simon's the best.

Relationships: wow
Clary and Jace - I like the Darcy Phase in this book, because at no point do these two necessarily dislike each other. It's more of a drawn out Snark-Off between two people so clever and proud and just waiting for the other to blink. And by blink I mean tumble headfirst into Like, of course. However, because of Rule #3 of YA: Happiness Doesn't Last and OH MAN does it not last in this story. Star-crossed lovers to the max.

Clary and Simon - They should make sad Sarah McLachlan commercials for lovesick best friends like Simon Lewis. Except instead of the SPCA phone number, the screen would flash Rule #2 of YA (Under no circumstances can best friends end up together) and Rule 2 Subsection B (The Girl must be completely oblivious to said best friend's love until the most devastating possible moment). Subsection B is here attributed to Clary's teenage self-absorption and Simon's general selflessness and thing for red-heads. Never had a chance, poor kid.

Special Features: WHOA
This series focuses around the Shadowhunters. Said to be descended from angels, the Shadowhunters were created to protect the human world from demons, who slip between dimensions and do nasty things on earth. Aside from the obviously exciting action aspect of the Shadowhunter world, fighting monsters, completely unknown to humans and being general hardasses, you get hints here and there that the society of Shadowhunters is inherently flawed as they move into the modern age, full of prejudice and a constant attitude of supremacy over humans and Downworlders. It's cool to see the "new generation" (Jace, Alec, and Isabelle) start to challenge some of those old-timey social norms that mirror our own more closely than you 'd think!

Parting Quote:

"Don't touch any of my weapons without my permission."
"Well, there goes my plan for selling them all on eBay," Clary muttered.
"Selling them on what?"
Clary smiled blandly at him. "A mythical place of great magical power."

Ooh a book with an even distribution of snark between male and female characters yes!

Last Sacrifice [Review]

Title: Last Sacrifice by Richelle Mead
Series: Vampire Academy #6
Genre: Urban Fantasy
What They Say:
Rose Hathaway has always played by her own rules. She broke the law when she ran away from St. Vladimir’s Academy with her best friend and last surviving Dragomir Princess, Lissa. She broke the law when she fell in love with her gorgeous, off-limits instructor, Dimitri. And she dared to defy Queen Tatiana, leader of the Moroi world, risking her life and reputation to protect generations of dhampir guardian to come.

Now the law has finally caught up with Rose- for a crime she didn’t even commit. She’s in prison for the highest offense imaginable: the assassination of a monarch. She’ll need help from both Dimitri and Adrian to find the one living person who can stall her execution and force the Moroi elite to acknowledge a shocking new candidate for the royal throne: Vasilisa Dragomir. But the clock on Rose’s life is running out. Rose knows in her heart the world of the dead wants her back… and this time she is truly out of second chances. The big question is, when your life is about saving others, who will save you?

What I Say:
So after my Vampire Academy binge this summer, I've been counting the hours until the last book in the series, and I was not disappointed. Well, I wasn't totally not disappointed, but you'll hear about that later. This series closer had jailbreaks, hillbillies, and a whole lotta spirit. That said...

4 out of 5 stars

Plot: wow

So Rose is in jail for a murder she didn't commit. But not for long! She has better things to do, like run across the country as a fugitive searching for the Lissa's dad's long-lost love-child with her ex-lover Dimitri who totally hates her even though he's all over her and it's pretty obvious he still loves her. (whew). Not to mention tracking down clues on Queen Tatiana's real murderer to clear her name so she can, you know, show her face in public without getting shot down by Guardians. Yikers. So achieving this near-impossible feat is not easy, but will enlisting the help of some of her old nemeses get Rose into more trouble than she was bargaining for? (Spoiler: Yeah, it will.)

I love a mystery. Provide me with clues, shady motives, and a high chance of betrayal, and I am on board for at least three hundred pages. That said, I especially love a mystery in which you're pretty sure you know whodunit, but nahh you don't! As I predicted in my review of the last two books, we get a good long look at positions of power in the royal court and lengths to which some will go to get them. Or to make sure other people don't get them. It's a vamp-eat-vamp world out there, kiddies. In all, I was glad to see a big decrease in dullness this time around. I wasn't bored to tears even once. Though I was moved to rage at one point (see Relationships).

Characters: wow

Oh Rose. If I were an elementary school teacher, I would give this girl a pat on the back, a Most Improved award, and a freakin' gold star on top of that. I have never been more proud of a YA character's dynamic-ness. I mean, she wasn't an awful, hideous brat from hell in this one! I didn't want to flog her or cut her hair or lock her in an attic! She was smart and thoughtful and sympathetic. So much respect. Except in the case of one plot development for which I may never ever be able to forgive her (see Relationships).

Adrian, Adrian, Adrian. After six books, he has earned a place on my list of favorite YA characters, if I ever write a list of favorite YA characters. He pretty much fills the snark quota for the whole series. The rest is just gravy. I only wonder what he plans to do with his life. Seriously. A person can't drink and smoke and flirt forever...can they?

It's hard to focus on specific characters in this series. They're really an ensemble, tiny aspects of each character making up the story as a whole. Though I will note that at a certain point in the book, all of the characters seems to lose their color. It's very apparent in the last few chapters. The story is still strong, but everyone just seems...tired. Which kind of makes sense. After everything that happens, I'd be too tired for clever quips, too.

Relationships: ooh

Rose and Adrian - It isn't really spoilering to tell you that no, these two don't end up together. Why, you thought they would? Well, apparently Rule #1 of YA is "The girl never chooses the Second Guy, no matter how beautiful and snarky and perfect he is for her because apparently girls are like Memory Foam Mattresses that mould to the shape of the first guy who sleeps on them!" Gahh, I bleed for you, Adrian. I really do. To be fair, I saw this coming, seeing as they spend less than fifty pages together in the whole thing, and a good eighty percent of those meetings take place in Rose's dreams. So.

Rose and Dimitri - Sigh. Well, I get it. They complete each other and stuff. Their auras get all tingly around each other. I guess they're soulmates. He's just so serious all the time. Rose says so herself, "[Adrian and I] have fun together." I just feel like Rose and Dimitri can't be all intense and angsty forever, right? I can imagine Rose and Adrian growing old and domestic, sure. Dimitri, not so much. Though, of course, there are probably a thousand other readers who think the exact opposite, haha.

Special Features: ooh

I was sad to see so little focus on Moroi elemental magic in this one. I mean, it pops up when it's really necessary to the plot, but it's hopelessly eclipsed by spirit. (Spirit, if you forgot, is the mysterious "fifth element", linked to mind powers and emo-ness). There was mention of spirit on at least every other page. Spirit this, spirit that. Well, sure it was central to the plot, but gahh, too much. Also, please Richelle Mead, can we reprint this series with different covers? Those angsty, pouty covers are pretty much the main reason I've had to put this series into my Guilty Pleasure pile. I can't imagine walking out into public with them...gahh.

Parting Quote:

     From behind Lissa, I heard Christian say, "Worst. Timing. Ever."
     Adrian studied Lissa and then looked at Christian sprawling on the bed on the far side of the suite. "Huh," Adrian said, letting himself in. "So that’s how you’re going to fix the family problem. Little Dragomirs. Good idea."
    Christian sat up and strolled toward them. "Yeah, that’s exactly it. You’re interrupting official Council business.” 

Oh these guys.

Swoon [Review]

Title: Swoon by Nina Malkin

Series: Swoon, #1

Genre: Urban Fantasy

What They Say:

Torn from her native New York City and dumped in the land of cookie-cutter preps, Candice is resigned to accept her posh, dull fate. Nothing ever happens in Swoon, Connecticut...until Dice's perfect, privileged cousin Penelope nearly dies in a fall from an old tree, and her spirit intertwines with that of a ghost. His name? Sinclair Youngblood Powers. His mission? Revenge. And while Pen is oblivious to the possession, Dice is all too aware of Sin. She's intensely drawn to him -- but not at all crazy about the havoc he's wreaking. Determined to exorcise the demon, Dice accidentally sets Sin loose, gives him flesh, makes him formidable. Now she must destroy an even more potent -- and irresistible -- adversary, before the whole town succumbs to Sin's will. Only trouble is, she's in love with him.

What I Say:

I was drawn to this book because of the idea of someone falling in love with the person possessing someone else’s body. Especially when it’s their cousin’s body. Risqué! That said…

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Plot: ooh

So Dice has lived in the town of Swoon, CT, for a good six months, and she’s just starting to fit into suburban life with her popular cousin (Pen) when said cousin falls out of a tree from a bunch feet up. Pen should be dead, but she walks away without a scratch. Except now she’s acting a little odd. And a lot slutty. It doesn’t take long for Dice to realize that someone’s ghost is inhabiting her body (because she’s psychic, forgot to mention…) But not just any ghost, the ultra-sexy ghost of a man hanged in the 1760s for a murder he didn’t commit. So now that he’s back, he’s going to get revenge on the descendents of those who wronged him all those years ago. Well, first he’s going to fool around with the young girls of Swoon, then he’ll get revenge…

As far as the story, despite the dull parts, I was definitely pleased. It maintained a certain tone of apathy throughout, in Dice’s lack of real sympathy or pity for the residents of Swoon as Sin effs things up exacts his revenge on the town. This could be a sign of a weak and slightly heartless protag (though she does care sometimes!), but I liked it. It’s edgy in a good way (some good plot twists, fresh narrative, etc.) for the most part, but then it’s also edgy in a forced, awkward way. Imagine, if you will, a porky 14-year-old girl in a miniskirt and hooker heels trying to look sexy but just looking sad and. Yeahhh, Swoon goes there.

Characters: ooh

First of all, Dice is a great nickname. Second of all, aside from how Dice is given the inner thoughts of an English teacher (you know: flowery language and all that), she’s a pretty genuine teenager. In that I-didn’t-want-to-shoot-her kind of way. Hardly a Mary Sue, but not a jerkass either. She’s a teensy bit melodramatic, but what girl isn’t? (Yay for sweeping generalizations!) Also, she’s a New Yorker, so cool points.

The best friend aka supporting character is supposed to drive the story at least a little bit. Besides auditioning for the girl on the Girls Gone Wild DVD cover, Pen doesn’t do much for the plot. I heard this might be a series, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed for some character development later on?

Relationships: ooh

Dice and Sin - If it weren’t for the revenge thing and the sleeping around thing and the killing people thing and the lack of redeeming qualities thing, I’d totally understand why these two are together. I mean, sometimes I get it, like Ooh, he’s mysterious and funny in an eighteenth century kind of way. But then it’s like, what…? Sin earns a few points near the end of the book, but for the most part he’s just lucky he’s got a way with words.

Special Features: ooh

So, like most cliquey teens in small towns, the youth of Swoon all go by one-syllable nicknames (Candice becomes Dice, Penelope is Pen, etc). And even though I found them to be really annoying at first, they actually added something special to the story. The little nicknames gave even the rigid, snobby, rich kids a teeny bit of personality, which fleshed them out a bit. Good move, Malkin.

Parting Quotes:

In my head, I screamed at her Not without an army of ninjas am I letting you into my house. Out loud I managed, “Oh…sorry…can’t…” before darting from the car and through the front door of 12 Daisy Lane. Which I locked. Resoundingly.

 Ahh, this book reads like running water.

Clockwork Angel [Review]

Title: Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare
Series: The Infernal Devices, #1
Genre: Urban Fantasy
What They Say: 
When sixteen-year-old Tessa Gray crosses the ocean to find her brother, her destination is England where something terrifying is waiting for her in London's Downworld. Only the Shadowhunters, warriors dedicated to ridding the world of demons, keep order amidst the chaos. Kidnapped by the mysterious Dark Sisters Tessa soon learns that she herself is a Downworlder with a rare ability. What's more, a man called the Magister will stop at nothing to claim Tessa's power for his own. 

           Friendless and hunted, Tessa takes refuge with the Shadowhunters of the London Institute, who swear to find her brother if she will use her power to help them. She soon finds herself fascinated by—and torn between—two best friends: Jem, whose fragile beauty hides a deadly secret, and blue-eyed Will, whose caustic wit and volatile moods keep everyone in his life at arm's length...everyone, that is, but Tessa. As their search draws them into a plot that threatens to destroy the Shadowhunters, Tessa realizes that she may need to choose between saving her brother and helping her new friends save the world, and that love may be the most dangerous magic of all.

What I Say:
I’m completely biased when writing about this series, because of how much I loved The Mortal Instruments. Being the first book of the prequels, I loved this one as well. Here we get all the excitement of the Mortal Intstruments with the added bonus of English wit, metal men, and a good old possible future love triangle. Sort of.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Plot: wow
So the year is 1878, and Tessa Gray has come to England. After the death of her aunt, her brother (Nate) sends her a letter and a boat ticket from London, so she expects to meet him there when she arrives. Well, that doesn’t happen. Instead, she’s kidnapped by two creepy sisters posing as friends of Nate, locking her in an old house and training her to use a mysterious power she never knew she had in preparation for an engagement to a mysterious man known only as The Magister. But there cannot be damsels without white knights, and Tessa finds hers in Will Herondale, who literally busts in to save her. Sort of. Back at Will’s home, the Institute, Tessa learns all about the people who saved her, the “people” who kidnapped her, and the person she really is. Now, what is she going to do about it?

One of the many things I love about a Cassandra Clare storyline is that you will think you know what’s going on, but then she will pull the little comfort-zone carpet out from under you and you will feel quite foolish for ever having questioned the awesome power of the Author. Clare so seamlessly unveils a world operating in secret alongside our own that I was instantly captivated and not released until the last word of the last page of this book. And, of course, the Crazy Cliffhanger card has been played here, so I absolutely must know what happens next!

Characters: wow
Tessa is my kind of girl. She’s young and perhaps naïve, sure. But it’s 1878; who isn’t? She’s a good fit for this story, because it moves at such a pace that there isn’t time for a heroine who asks too many silly questions and can’t make up her mind. She knows the plan, she sticks to it, and doesn’t freak out when the plan turns spoilerly evil (note: "the plan" is not really a plan in this case). Thought she might pull a Jessamine and pout about it, but no! I was quite impressed.

Will Herondale. What can I say? At first I thought, Oh look, it’s Wace Jayland. But it turns out he's Jace's dark side on crack. Where Jace plays the jerk with a heart of gold, Will is the jerk with a cold, dead, black heart. Now, if Jace’s snark was brought on by family issues (go read the Mortal Instruments, you know you want to), then Will’s family issues must be so much worse! And of course it’s all a big secret, so I’m sitting on pins and needles waiting to find out. Not to mention, Will is ummm gorgeous. Magnus Bane was right about black hair and blue eyes.

If Jace had a good and bad side, and Will only has a bad side, then Jem is where it has gone. He is a classic good guy. He’s a listener, he’s a little bit sensitive, he’s sympathetic, he’s pale, he’s blond, he plays music. What is not to like? Really, besides some spoilery misfortune in his past, he doesn’t have a single flaw. I want to believe it, but no character is ever perfect when it comes to Cassie Clare. I’m on to you…

Relationships: ooh
Tessa and Will - Ooh, Victorian romance. It’s so simple and lovely - oh wait, it’s not simple or lovely at all. And it’s a good thing! Will Herondale is a nut, in that you can’t just crack him open. You ('you' being Tessa) have to wear down his defenses bit by bit until he opens up to you in a moment of weakness and then proceeds to completely shut you out again. Oh wait, that already happened. Well, don’t give up! I see many bloody kisses in your future.

Special Features: WHOA.
Shadowhunters may be the coolest fictional group of earth-defenders out there. Except maybe for Torchwood. I know they might not come across as earth-shatteringly awesome without three books worth of Shadowhunter history under your belt, but trust me. Be it the Conclave or the Enclave, NYC or LDN, the Shadowhunters are made of awesome. Especially when they are strapping young men like Will and Jem.

Parting Quote:

    “So you're a Shadowhunter,” Nate said. “De Quincey told me that you lot were monsters.”
     “Was that before or after he tried to eat you?” Will inquired.

This is Will being mild and pleasant.

White Cat [Review]

Title: White Cat by Holly Black
Series: The Curse Workers, #1
Genre: Urban Fantasy
What They Say:
Cassel comes from a family of curse workers -- people who have the power to change your emotions, your memories, your luck, by the slightest touch of their hands. And since curse work is illegal, they're all mobsters, or con artists. Except for Cassel. He hasn't got the magic touch, so he's an outsider, the straight kid in a crooked family. You just have to ignore one small detail -- he killed his best friend, Lila, three years ago. 

Ever since, Cassel has carefully built up a façade of normalcy, blending into the crowd. But his façade starts crumbling when he starts sleepwalking, propelled into the night by terrifying dreams about a white cat that wants to tell him something. He's noticing other disturbing things, too, including the strange behavior of his two brothers. They are keeping secrets from him, caught up in a mysterious plot. As Cassel begins to suspect he's part of a huge con game, he also wonders what really happened to Lila. Could she still be alive? To find that out, Cassel will have to out-con the conmen.

What I Say:
So I’ve been looking forward to reading Holly Black’s newest series for a little while now. After she was done writing about faeries, I was interested to see what Black would tackle next. White Cat has mystery, the mafia, major family issues. That said…

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Plot: ooh
So when Cassel wakes up from a nightmare hanging from the roof of Wallingford Prep’s dorm, he is pretty much expelled. It’s bad enough that he’s from a family of workers - people who can curse others with a single touch - Wallingford doesn’t need their students trying to off themselves. But Cassel’s strange dreams have a source, someone’s been working him (but who?), and he’s being followed by an odd white cat… Now that Cassel’s out of school, he needs to find his way back in. Being the only non-worker in an infamous crime family, this won’t be easy. But living among criminals all his life, he’s learned a trick or two. Though, as he begins to uncover a family secret he somehow forgot, getting back into Wallingford becomes the least of his problems.

Usually, I don’t like to read crime novels about big-talking mobsters and, well, crime. It just never caught my interest or seemed probable. This book was different, though. A contemporary twist on your Sopranos or Corleones or what have you. There are so many quirks to Black’s alternate world (and I love me some quirks, they keep things fresh) that I kept turning pages, even where the story lulled. 

Characters: ooh
Cassel is a pretty cool guy. Quick with the snark. Though for a tough, sexy kid, he gets beat up a lot. Maybe that’s just because of the whole crime family thing. Sure, he’s the hero of the story, he “saves the day”, because this is a novel. But that doesn’t mean he’s the good guy. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be the good guy. Complex, right? Haha.

We don’t see all that much of Cassel’s best friend Lila, mostly because he killed her when he was thirteen. Yeah. But we do see a few glimpses here and there, and (of course) when you’re reading an urban fantasy, no one stays dead for long. She’s our average alternative best friend, goading young Cassel into shenanigans and the like, being mysterious and such. Can’t say I actually like her as a character (she doesn’t add much to the story), but I’ll watch her develop as the series continues.

Relationships: meh
Cassel and Lila - I liked how this story didn’t center around a relationship. It gave more room for the adventure to expand. That said, it leads to the story’s relationship being pretty bad. Pre-killing Lila, the two are “just friends”, with Lila leading Cassel on while running off to hook up with his older brother. Post-killing Lila, it’s awkward and Black doesn’t touch on it at all until the end. (Yeah, I’m leaving key plot points out here to shield your unspoiled eyes, deal with it.)

Special Features: wow
Ooh, alternate universe! I really like the idea of curse workers. Of how everyone wears gloves to avoid touching people or being touched. All the politics behind it. Now that the story-as-I-know-it is over, I’m curious as to how the other books will expand on the curse worker idea. I’m actually impatient, haha. Also, check out this book’s cover. That boy is gorgeous. And the audiobook is narrated by none other than Jesse Eisenberg, making it one of my favorites ever.

Parting Quote:

"My mother wants to talk with you. She says that what you did was a cry for help."
"It was," I say. "That's why I was yelling 'Heeeelp'! I don't really go in for subtlety."

Vampire Academy #4-5 [Review]

For the review of Vampire Academy books 1-3, click here.

Title: Blood Promise and Spirit Bound by Richelle Mead
Series: Vampire Academy #4 and  5
Genre: Urban Fantasy
What They Say:

How far will Rose go to keep her promise?

The recent Strigoi attack at St. Vladimir’s Academy was the deadliest ever in the school’s history, claiming the lives of Moroi students, teachers, and guardians alike. Even worse, the Strigoi took some of their victims with them. . . including Dimitri.

He’d rather die than be one of them, and now Rose must abandon her best friend, Lissa—the one she has sworn to protect no matter what—and keep the promise Dimitri begged her to make long ago. But with everything at stake, how can she possibly destroy the person she loves most?

What I Say:
You know how they say “The plot thickens” as a series continues? Well, in this case I feel like the plot thins out as the series progresses. Don’t get me wrong, this is a good thing. The fourth and fifth books in the Vampire Academy series (well, at least the fifth) were more enjoyable because they had straight-forward stories. Here, our pool of characters tightens to around five main guys rather than the million being introduced every other page in the first two, and we continue the Darkening and Edgifying that began in book three. That said…

Rating: 4 stars out of 5

Plot: wow
Book 3 - Oh nooo, Dimitri’s been turned into a Strigoi vampire and it’s up to Rose to stake his ass out of love. So off to Russia we go for three-hundred-or-so pages. Rose lurks around bars until she meets an Alchemist (kind of like a supernatural janitor?) who leads her to Dimitri’s family in Siberia (because for some reason, she thought that after becoming an Evil Demon of the Night, Dimitri would want to visit his mommy). So after an irrelevant fifty pages, by some crazy coincidence she finds Dimitri! But (big surprise), things don’t turn out the way she planned. Meanwhile, back at school a completely different - but equally irrelevant to the series - story is unfolding. Lissa has a new party-girl friend. Could it be that this binge-drinking risk taker is a bad influence?

Book 4 - So Rose is back at school and the last book becomes nothing more than a sad, boring nightmare. Forget about the fact that Rose dropped out of school, she gets to graduate anyway! She’s finally getting over her evil lost love and starting anew with Adrian the alcoholic angel. Except that she’s totally still obsessed with Dimitri and pulls a slew of crazy stunts in order to ohspoilershmmmhuh? (You’ll see.) Some very powerful people get royally pissed (see what I did there, "royally"? Ha!), and while her tomfoolery gets her the miracle she wanted, she’s going to need an actual-grownup-problem-fixing miracle to get out of the trouble she’s in now!

So, while I didn’t love book four, book five made up for it. I’m sort of proud of how this series has progressed (or maybe I just like it because the Royal Court reminds me of Alicante in the Cassie Clare’s City of Glass). Also, ever see I Am Legend? Strigoi-Dimitri reminds me of this guy. Also, in book five Richelle Mead finally learns the value of having relevant information throughout the whole book! No more nothing-matters-but-the-climax storylines! So proud!

Characters: wow
Oh Rose. While book four put me to sleep from time to time, I was so happy that Jerkass Rose was gone. So happy. Then she goes back home and leaves her maturity in Russia. That said, I have to admire her spunk. At least she means well these days and doesn’t randomly hate people anymore. Baby steps, Rose. Baby steps.

Adrian! I’m so glad he’s a main character now! You can tell because I’m using exclamation points!! In a nearly-hilarious case of irony, he becomes Rose's voice of reason in these books. Also, he’s bleeding money out of his ears and omgheissototallycute. Honestly, I think Mead wrote him into the story just as a personal favor to me.

I would talk about Lissa and Christian, but they haven’t changed much from the first three books. Still cool, just static.

Relationships: wow
Rose and Adrian - Giggle-squeak. These two are what Rose and Dimitri could be if they weren’t angsting it up all the time (and if Dimitri were cleverer). Poor Adrian has to deal with Rose pining over her lost lover all the time. He’s too good for her. Despite the fact that, being a YA book series, Rose is doomed to end up with the First Guy She Liked, I still have hope that she and Adrian will grow old together and have a whole litter of “Little dhampirs”.

Special features: ooh
I like me a royal court, at least when it isn’t full of Queen’s English-speaking assholes. Lissa being the Dragomir princess and Rose being a pawn (let’s face it, she’s a pawn), we get to see both sides of the system, and how people with power like to screw with people; or do they? (see Mysterious Motives).

Parting Quote:

"Yeah, that's exactly what I want. To help my girlfriend get her old boyfriend back." He turned away again, and I heard him [Adrian] mutter, "I need two drinks."

If Adrian took a drink every time Rose was a little brat or spat on his feelings, he’d die of alcohol poisoning. True fact.

Hush, Hush [Review]

Title: Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick
Series: Hush, Hush #1
Genre: Urban Fantasy
What They Say:

For Nora Grey, romance was not part of the plan. She's never been particularly attracted to the boys at her school, no matter how much her best friend, Vee, pushes them at her...until Patch comes along.
With his easy smile and eyes that seem to see inside her, Nora is drawn to him against her better judgment, but after a series of terrifying encounters, Nora's not sure whom to trust. Patch seems to be everywhere she is, and to know more about her than her closest friends. She can't decide whether she should fall into his arms or run and hide. And when she tries to seek some answers, she finds herself near a truth that is far more unsettling than anything Patch makes her feel.
For Nora is right in the middle of an ancient battle between the immortal and those that have fallen - and when it comes to choosing sides, the wrong choice will cost her life.

What I Say:
Because of its ALA Teens’ Top Ten nomination, its sequel coming this October, and the fact that I’m waiting by the mailbox for Mockingjay to get here, I though I’d review this one today. People like to compare this book to Twilight, and I admit there are some weird similarities (Biology Partner of Death, anyone?), but this book brings fantasy and reality together in a way than Stephenie Meyer just couldn’t figure out. You know, like a protagonist who didn’t just step out of an Austen novel? That said…

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Plot: wow
So Nora Grey and also-conveniently-short-named Vee Sky are best friends. When their seats get moved (horror of horrors) in biology, Nora gets a new partner: mysterious new badass Patch. Nora is deeply offended by Patch’s impressive handle on sarcasm and suggestiveness (that’s a word?), so she hates him. Meanwhile, there’s another mysterious new guy (two in one book? This is a first!) Elliot with his mysterious best friend Jules. Charismatic and cute, Elliot is much better match for Nora, or is he? Mean-meanwhile, Nora’s being terrorized (sort of) by a dangerous hooded stalker who’s making her think she’s crazy. As Nora tries to solve Patch’s mystery and Elliot’s mystery and the stalker mystery (so much mystery!), she has to bring all the facts together before she finds herself in grave danger. (Spoiler: she finds herself in grave danger anyway.)

Once this story broke away from its Twilight similarities, I really got into it. If Fitzpatrick does anything, it's keep you interested by adding more and more story elements, not lingering too long on any of them. If you're trying to figure out what's what, you can't really get bored, can you? I'm not sure how the story lends to a sequel, though there is one character left unaccounted for at the end...

Characters: ooh
While I applaud Fitzpatrick for giving us a female protagonist who isn’t a starry-eyed waif or age-inappropriately-poetic, we sometimes fall to the other end of the spectrum with Nora. She’s smart and determined, but she gets all fired up about petty things (like getting her seat changed in biology. Like, calm down!) and acts all superior around Patch without even knowing him (in that preppy-snob way, ehh). However, once we pass that I-hate-you-Darcy! stage (does every little romance have to start like this?), I really like her. She doesn’t whine, she can handle herself, and she’s a pretty genuine teenager. Being a believable protagonist made it easier for me to believe the fantastic parts. Much appreciated.

So I love Patch. Why? First off, he’s a fallen angel (this is only a spoiler if you ignore the front and back cover of this book, my friends). He is the Snark King. Archduke of Snarkland. Head of the mon-snarky. Just because Nora can’t appreciate that doesn’t mean I can’t. And finally a stalker who is actually a stalker. Not just in that Are-you-following-me? way, but in that How-were-those-two-cups-of-OJ-I-saw-you-drinking-this-morning-while-hiding-in-your-bushes? way. I am impressed. Also, finally a guy who calls himself a bad person and is actually a bad person! It’s great! Only thing: I get that Patch is a nickname, but really? It’s kind of terrible. I have yet to meet a Patch that I like (that isn’t, like, a teddy bear with a missing eye).

Vee is our cliché boy-crazy, clothing-obsessed, going-to-have-to-save-her-from-danger-at-some-point sidekick. That said, I like her. She wasn’t exactly comic relief - because she wasn’t exactly funny - but she brought a lightness to the story, which it needed from time to time. And what’s the point of having Supernatural Secrets and Lies if there’s no painfully human best friend to lie to?

Relationships: ooh
Nora and Patch - After the Darcy phase, Nora and Patch are pretty good together. I won’t spoil anything, but when he tells her about the actual events leading up to their almost-first kiss, ohh boy. That's a dark romance, right there. I found it extremely refreshing that, while they have a relationship, they don’t fall in love on fast-forward. In fact, they don’t fall in love at all! It’s great! I didn’t roll my eyes even once; that must be a record!

Special Features: wow
Angels? Awesome. I mean, obviously we’ve all heard about angels before, but I’ve never read a novel with an angel as a main character. At least, not a badass angel. We only get a peek into the whole system in this book, but I’m hoping we’ll see more in the sequel. One thing that bothered me: what the hell does the title “Hush Hush” have to do with this story? I spent maybe an hour thinking about this. It makes absolutely no sense. Is it because she’s keeping a secret?

Parting Quotes:

"You possess other people's...bodies."
He accepted that statement with a nod.
"Do you want to possess my body?"
"I want to do a lot of things to your body, but that's not one of them."

Sometimes these quotes have meanings. Sometimes they just make me laugh, haha.

Vampire Academy #1-3 [Review]

Title: Vampire Academy, Frostbite, and Shadow Kiss by Richelle Mead
Series: Vampire Academy
Genre: Urban Fantasy
What They Say:
St. Vladimir’s Academy isn’t just any boarding school—it’s a hidden place where vampires are educated in the ways of magic and half-human t ...more

St. Vladimir’s Academy isn’t just any boarding school—it’s a hidden place where vampires are educated in the ways of magic and half-human teens train to protect them. Rose Hathaway is a Dhampir, a bodyguard for her best friend Lissa, a Moroi Vampire Princess. They’ve been on the run, but now they’re being dragged back to St. Vladimir’s—the very place where they’re most in danger. . . .

What I Say:
It could get confusing and wordy, trying to fit three books into one review, but we’ll see how this goes (no big high-quality-review guarantees, haha). I guess you can say the reason I've only just started reading this series is because I was avoiding it. Like, actively avoiding it. Why? After Twilight spawned a billion other vampire novels, TV shows, etc, the idea of reading another vampire series became a bit of a turnoff. A few days ago, however, I opted to try it. I was impressed by some things, and it didn’t put me to sleep or make me gag or overuse synonyms of the word beautiful. That said…

Rating: 3 stars out of 5

Plot: wow
So there’s this girl, Rose, and her best friend Lissa. They’ve just been caught by school officials for a serious case of truancy (two years, count 'em) and are back at St. Vladimir’s Academy for their senior year. What’s weird about that? Lissa (short for Vasilisa) is a Moroi princess, Moroi being vampires in that they drink blood and sleep during the day, but different in that they’re alive and can use elemental magic. Yeah. Rose is a Dhampir, or guardian to a Moroi, and she’s pretty much human if you discount her superior strength and battle training. At the academy, misadventures ensue, Rose is getting all up close with her mentor (Dimitri), and Lissa has a thing for mysterious bad boy Christian - whose parents were evil Strigoi vampires before they were killed.

Huh. There must be a simpler way to do this. Let’s go one book at a time:

Book 1 - So everything’s dandy at the academy, except there’s this snotty girl trying to ruin Rose’s life, Lissa’s beginning to use her mysterious power and it’s making her emo and crazy, and someone out there wants that power for his/herself. Oh noes!

Book 2 - Moroi royal families are being killed left and right by Strigoi (the big-bad-actual-vampires), so the academy is holding Christmas vacation at a ski lodge and everyone’s invited! Really. Rose is still all over her mentor, but he’s (gasp!) possibly all over someone else? There’s also a Christian-being-jealous-of-Lissa-talking-to-a-hotter-guy storyline, but that doesn’t matter because when Mason (Rose’s boyfriend?) runs off to kill Strigoi - and Rose and Christian follow - all kinds of shit goes down and everything before that becomes obsolete.

Book 3 - So the first two-thirds of this book pass and then are rendered obsolete by the shit-going-down part. (Seeing a pattern here?) Main idea: Rose is seeing ghosts and going insane, or is she? Also, a new elite cult club is starting up at school, and they want Lissa to submit her will join. Also, the vampire queen (there’s a vampire queen) is stirring up trouble for our unlikely lovers.

Okay. That’s done. Re-reading this, it was hard to summarize seriously, but not because it wasn’t good. It was pretty good, interesting stuff, trust me! But when you go back and try to remember everything happened, you realize that a lot of stuff happens, some of which has nothing to do with the “big picture” and ends up sounding silly. I did like that I never got bored by details, didn’t have to suspend my belief that much (there weren’t any What? No way is that possible! moments). I just plain enjoyed it. Maybe not on a deep, dark, serious level (though it does get darker and edgier in book three), but it was fun to read. If I have to note anything in particular, it’s that there seems to be a One Character Dies Per Book rule in place here. Also, a First Two Hundred Pages Are Filler rule. Not bad rules, per se, but they don’t help the unpredictability thing.

Characters: meh
So I used to think I thought Bella Swan was annoying, but I think I actually hate Rose. At first I thought, Nice, an edgy character for once! but (at times) she can be so whiny, bratty, needy, immature, hating-people-for-no-reason and getting-in-people’s-faces-at-inappropriate-times that I wanted to hit her in the face. Repeatedly. How can Dimitri stand her? Sure, there are whole chapters where she’s pretty cool, level-headed, and badass, but god, she’s one of the most obnoxious characters (not in a parody or satire) that I ever read.

Lissa was better. Not painfully interesting, but more down-to-earth than Rose. Being part of the Hoi Moroi (haha, I’m clever), she’s reasonable and calm and all that. A bit dramatic and angsty, but with good reason (see Magic Crazy-Making Powers).

From here, there are many sub-characters, and it’s difficult to tell which are most important. Christian may not be the most crucial to the plot, but he’s my favorite. He was my main source of non-bratty snark, which was refreshing. He’s the black sheep of the Moroi, despite being one of the royals, because of the parents-going-evil thing. It makes him the most grounded of all of them, the least clueless, and who can resist a black sheep? I mean, seriously. He’s Christian the atheist. I love it. How can Rose hate him? I have no idea.

Or is Adrian my favorite? Not sure where he came from, but he’s the college-aged Moroi who just shows up at random times during the second and third books. All he does is smoke and drink because of those Magic Crazy-Making Powers, and he’s only more snarky than Christian because he’s a little lady-killer, too. Why can’t this be the Christian and Adrian series? How can Rose hate him? I have no idea. (Seeing a pattern here?)

Relationships: ooh
Do random hookups count as relationships?

Rose and Dimitri - I don’t entirely understand how this relationship works. Sure, I get the whole forbidden love thing, but why choose Rose? Really, Dimitri? Sometimes, it’s fun to read about (especially around book three, hehe) but it’s mostly Nooo-this-is-wrong! Or Nooo-you’re-too-young! Or Nooo-it’s-unprofessional! See, kids? Grown-ups can be whiny and angsty, too.

Lissa and Christian - I actually like this couple. Mostly because of Christian, but Lissa actually grows a little spine around him. The reader doesn’t see much of these two, because Rose is the main character and the universe revolves around her, but (so far) they’re the most normal part of the series. And who doesn’t love that couple everyone disapproves of? Power couple, indeed.

Special Features: ooh
I really was interested by the vampires in this series. The different groups, the social structure, the royal families, the Romanian thing: nothing I’d heard a million times before. Though some of the Dhampir mentality seemed a bit brainwashy at times, which I was glad got some mention in book three. Vampires aren't my big thing, so I was glad it didn't, like, suck. One feature which I felt needed to be addressed are this series’ covers. They’re kind of gag-inducing. I see them and think, Bad bad bad paperback novel, which is sad. They deserve better.

Well, isn’t this the longest post ever? Phew. I pulled an all-nighter reading book three, so you’re welcome, haha. The rest of the series to follow next week (or the week after, we'll see).

For the review of Vampire Academy books 4-5, click here.